Ooops I did it again!
I am new here, today; but not new to cancer. For the third time in four years I find myself on the cancer 2WW programme. First it was a SCC of the mouth and throat; then a prostate issue, and now kidney; all three within a four year period. Ooops I did it again. To top it all, I also lost my mother and my best friend within a few weeks of each other in March. I cant blame the wonderful NHS, perhaps it wasnt found because of Covid delays, perhaps not. But once known, every doctor under the sun now wants to see me and review other issues.
One might expect that I would be used to what I know is about to come (or has already started), the tests, the hospital visits, the poking and the prodding; the spinning in my head with the news and what will happen.....And do I tell my family and friends???
This time I found it harder. Harder to address and put things into perspective. Like many I am a private person and careful about what I say to people and to whom I say it. One of my family members let me down the first time I had cancer. I was only going to tell two or three people. That is how I wanted it, that was how I was going to be able to deal with it. I told them that was how I wanted to deal with it., and for them not to tell anyone. It lasted a few hours, and then became common knowledge to their friends and others, as they spread the gossip. I felt let down, because my illness became gossip and something about them, not me and how I wanted to deal and cope with it. I had to constantly address the topic with people I knew but didnt want to share this with. TRUST became an issue and I could not share anything with them again. They didnt know about the second issue, and will not know about the third.
A few sleepless nights, a few panic attacks, but I know they will go, at least until another bombshell hits. Thankfully I have Macmillan...again!!!.....and again!!! but I dont know how much cake I can eat, if I am to get fit for surgery.
The NHS are 'Angels without wings'.
Ooops I did it again!
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community
It sounds like you've been through a lot over the years and I can understand your reluctance to share information with people you know. That is the beauty of the online community in that we are all anonymous and won't gossip about how much cake you're going to eat!
The community is divided up into different support groups so I'd recommend that you join the kidney cancer group where you can ask questions, share experiences and get support.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment so far in your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
