Hi, I’ve joined this group as I am so confused about my husbands condition.
7 years ago he was first diagnosed with bowel cancer & underwent an operation to remove the tumours. He had a node just under the pancreas that they were unable to reach. He underwent a course of chemotherapy & all was good.
3 years later the cancer returned & he underwent chemotherapy again to bring it under control. In 2019 the cancer spread to his liver and he had cyberknife treatment which was successful.
my husband has undergone 100’s of chemotherapy treatments defining all odds. Then on Xmas eve 2020 he suffered a serious heart attack which they believe was caused by so much chemotherapy.
He was fitted with a defibrillator under the skin which would restart his heart should this happen again.
4 months ago we found out following a scan he has hot spots back in the bowel, liver, pancreas & wind pipe. He had 1 chemotherapy session but became very unwell straight after & has not been well since.
he has now been in hospital for 3 weeks as he has a blockage around the pancreas blocking a bile duct, this has resulted in extreme jaundice & kidney problems. His blood pressure is intermittently very low & his bloods all over the place. They tried to remove the blockage with an endoscopy last week but it was unsuccessful- they took some biopsy’s of the mass causing the problem but we’ve not had results yet. They decided they need to operate by going in through the back but have now decided this is too risky so will try the endoscopy route again.
my queries/concerns are that we have been told by two ward doctors that he is extremely poorly & we need to prepare that things can change very quickly.
my husband will not ask any of these type of questions and has asked me not to ask. I NEED to know what I’m dealing with & want an idea of timescales, do you think they can tell me this?? We have 8 children who are worried sick & I am so confused on how to deal with everything moving forward.
should I ask to speak to his oncologist privately? Any advice would be welcome! Sorry this is so long x
Hi and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and the ongoing challenges you are facing.
I am the one with the cancers and we worked on a full disclosure agreement so all my clinical teams knew that I agreed that my wife could ask them anything at anytime without my agreement….. this was especially helpful when I was not in a great way.
If your husband has told his medical professionals not to say anything there may be a problem as they will not say a thing.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best ((hugs))
