Hi, I'm really struggling at the moment, my mum went in for routine gall bladder surgery on the 12th January, the surgeon stopped the operation, as he highly suspected cancer, mum had scans and then the beginning of March was diagnosed with terminal cancer, that had spread in spots to the liver and diaphragm, she had to see the oncologist the following week, tablet chemo was given to try and prolong her life, but after having another scan, it was decided 4 weeks ago to stop the chemo, she has now deteriorated especially the past week and has a just in case bag in place, im trying to get equipment in place as her mobility is very poor now, she already has carers coming in twice a day but need to get that reviewed, it's mainly my brother and I caring for my mum as my dad has dementia and in a nursing home, I am a care worker out in the community and have supported many families going through this bit its so different it being my mum, just feel so lost, also until Sunday I cant be there psycally for my mum as I had an exposure notice for covid and have to self isolate, im so frustrated and will never take the risk just in case, im trying to be strong for my family but really struggling
Hi MaggieB1973,
Welcome to the community, thank you so much for having the courage to reach out here, I can imagine how much of a struggle this must be for you especially as with the covid exposure notice you are not able to physically do anything at this time.
The news received about your Mum I imagine was a great shock to you all, I am really sorry to read that Mum has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and after 4 weeks of tablet based chemo the decision has been made to stop further treatment, resulting in an obvious deterioration in her health in the past week.
With you being unable to assist with her care at this time for reasons outside of your control, this adds additional work for your brother, and I am sure that this is adding to your frustrations, it is so much harder to deal with when you are removed from being able to physically do anything. But Sunday will be here soon enough, in the meantime maybe you can phone and request an urgent review of your Mum's home care needs and get the ball rolling on that (if you have not had time to do that already)
You have mentioned Mum has Mets on her liver and diaphragm from her cancer, but I am unsure whether her original cancer site is her gall bladder or whether it has originated from elsewhere.
There are some fantastically supportive forums on this site which may be of some interest to you including
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
I do hope that you find support within these forums and you will also find specific forums for the cancer type that your Mum has been diagnosed which may give you further support and information on what to look out for.
I am thinking of you all. Please reach out again, anytime! do not struggle alone, we are here for you
Lowe'
Good Job Maggie
Mark it all off as you go, and jot it all down as you think of it.... you've got this
Lowe'
