We are struggling to cope with the new diagnosis of my wife with 'incurable' Transitional Cell Carcinoma in the renal pelvis which has metastasised to the lymph nodes.
Having led reasonably healthy lives (we both trained as PE teachers) she has survived a few major health crises without problems so the 'incurable' bit is difficult to come to terms with. This is with retiring to the South Coast into a road full of people with health issues and being the healthy ones on the block!
Currently awaiting 'Palliative Chemo' and undergoing lots of tests.
We have been referred on to Oncology and told surgery is not a good option but had few technical details. We would like to be sure that surgery is not a better option so want to seek a second opinion. Neither GP nor hospital want to recommend anyone, saying we just need to refer ourselves. Who to? How do we choose which institution to approach?
Any hints would be most welcome
Hi yeldog and welcome to the Online Community but sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis.
I have a totally different type of rare incurable blood cancer that was first diagnosed back in 1999 but in 2013 my team put my case out for peer review looking for the best way to treat me as it had become aggressive so it would be good for you to connect with others on the same track.
Talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer treatment journey can help you navigate this difficult time but already see you have found and posted in our supportive Kidney cancer group as this will be a good place to connect with filks going through the same type of cancer journey.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service can give lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear and a good place to talk through the challenges of getting a second opinion.
We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best
