Hello all. I’m new to the group and desperately looking for any help, experiences, advice you can offer for my dad please. We spent the last night in A&E as over the last 3-4 weeks my dad has become increasingly confused and completely out of character in his mental state. My dad is 68 and lives alone so it’s hard to know what’s been going on. We see him every weekend and chat by txt/phone calls in the week but these stopped up until this point. He was acting very strange last weekend when we last saw him- saying things that didn’t make sense and we’ve since found out things he has told us that he’s done he actually hasn’t. Anyway it all built up to the situation last night and after bloods, scan etc in A&E we were given the devastating news at 2am this morning that Dad has a brain tumour.
he’s been moved to the EAU today and has had a full MRI scan (results tomorrow) and he’s on steroid IV and the stroke team are involved as they think he’s had a stroke and his right side is affected. He is also having a CAT scan tomorrow and waiting fir a bed to free up on a ward. Addenbrookes are apparently on standby to receive him. All we know is the tumour is frontal. I’m having waves of emotion- guilt mostly that I left him too long when my gut said something was ‘off’ and absolutely terrified about what these further results will show. Is there anybody out there who has been through similar ? Would you say this has been a slow growth tumour or rapid ? I’m going back over everything and torturing myself in the process. I’ve not been through this before and it feels a very lonely place as my dad only has myself and my sister and one brother left alive who lives a distance away. Thanks for listening and I’m sorry for any typos or poor grammar this evening, I’m exhausted! Many thanks. Take care all.
Hi and welcome to the Macmillan Online Community but sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer journey can help you navigate this difficult time, as my cancer journey is rather different can I recommend you join our supportive Brain tumours group, this will be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Family and friends and Carers only groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service can give lots of cancer information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have Cancer Nurse Team in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
All the very best ((hugs))
HI LouLou217 I am so sorry to hear about your dad.
My husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour in early Sept 2020. He's 51.
Nothing prepares you for the news. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer here other than I "get it". All the emotions you are feeling are entirely normal. Please don't torture yourself with the "what ifs" and the "if onlys". Focus on the here and now. Ask the medical team all of your questions. There's no such thing as a daft question. Write the questions down so that you don't forget to ask them when the opportunity presents itself.
Happy to try to help if I can. The carer's forum on here is also full of folk ready to offer "virtual" support.
Hang in there. Stay strong. Stay positive
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi Wee Me
thank you so much for your lovely reply. It’s a comfort to find people who are or have been through the same . Nothing really can prepare you for it can it 
Dad is still on the EAU as there’s no beds on a ward yet but he is at the top of the list so then one family member will be able to go visit. (Void restrictions) but also due to the bank holiday we’ve been told not much chance of his full body scan and other tests until Tuesday which is frustrating but accept even though it’s so frustrating. Addenbrookes are on standby to receive him once we know more.
I went to his home yesterday to check things and gather bits up for when we can go visit and it’s amazing because everything was very neat and orderly as always and I just can’t believe that he was managing to function ‘normally’ at home as he lives alone! Bless him. Anyway thank you so much for the time you took to reply to me. I hope your journey with your husband is going as well as it possibly can and you have many wonderful and precious times ahead. Thank you and very best wishes to you and your husband.
Take care, LouLou xxx
