Hello,
So I found out last week that my gran has stage 4 stomach cancer. Honestly I don't know what else to say. She's always been there for me in my life and right now I am 5 hours away at university trying to finish my PhD. She doesn't want me to come visit because she doesn't want to interrupt my studies but at the same time I know things aren't going well for her at the moment.
I am very worried because she's struggling as are the rest of my family and they are getting stressed at her for not eating or drinking and everyone is venting it all at me at the moment. Whereas I am trying to be as supportive and encouraging to her as possible but also never get to talk to her alone as to gauge how she is actually doing. I also really don't want to lose here but at the same time don't want her to feel forced to fight if she doesn't want to. Plus my family is not big on mental health and while I am trying to argue for her to be allowed to see once of the mental health nurses provided for her it's just like hitting a brick wall with the people who are actually there at home to oversee her care/support.
Honestly everything is a lot right now and I am just entirely unsure about what to do.
Sorry for the rant but yeah, if anyone knows where I can get support/help I would be eternally grateful.
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community but sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your gran’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey can help you navigate this difficult time.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Family and friends, Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer group groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service can give lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
((hugs))
