63 yr old male who met the love of my life 5 years ago, we married in July 2020, my wife is 65. From the day we met we have been blissfully happy and remain so, we so enjoy life together and even more so since I finished work last October. We have so many plans to travel as we love cruising.
in 2017 my wife has keyhole surgery to remove her gall bladders sue to stones, some months later she started with some discomfort and swelling around the area of the top keyhole cut. We saw various consultants, GP’s etc.. and as the situation worsened the experts all suggested a spilled stone was the cause. My wife constantly stated something was wrong and the growth was growing. She finally had surgery on April 14th during which a tennis ball size mass was removed (consultants words) the mass had attached itself to her liver and ribs. Last Saturday we saw consultant who shook our world by saying the mass found to be cancerous !!!
No doubt you will all understand how devastated we were as it was totally unexpected, my wife almost passed out. We are now awaiting results of bloods and CT scan with PET scan being arranged. However the toll it is taking is overwhelming, I genuinely have pains in my chest as I type this, my head is everywhere and I cannot stop these terrible thoughts of the future. My wife has since Saturday developed severe swelling around the site of her recent surgery, which is quite firm she says, not only this she is losing weight 1lb per day she says but she is eating much less and so is feeling weak. I try to remain bright and positive around her but I just want to break down and cry, because I have seen cancer take my father and my former mother in law when she was just 49.
I cannot help but think and fear the worst that the love of life is not going to survive very long given what has happened to her over just the past few days, and we won’t get any results or info until Thursday 20th next week. Seriously I think she needs treatment urgently as the swelling is severe as is her weight loss, and I just feel so helpless, inadequate, and distraught. I cannot lose her as she is my whole life and world.
sorry to ramble on and this is not a great intro I know but so far I haven’t spoken to anyone about this because I fear if I do it will mean accepting the worst whichI cannot bare to do.
Best Wishes to you all.
Hi Tillys Dadand warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community but sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be challenging in so many ways and there is a need for both the person with the cancer the the family looking on to be supported.
Do take a few breath’s, now that you have done this pickup the phone and call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00. This service can give lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. We also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only group as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
The waiting for results and treatment to start is challenging but a clear diagnosis and plan needs to be put in place to ensure the best treatment is used - this unfortunately takes time.
Once a clear diagnosis is given do look through our list of Cancer specific groups as this will be the best place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer treatment journey.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
All the very best
Hi Mike, thank you so much for your response. It is a help to have at least told someone what's going on and how I'm feeling. I have actually dialled The Macmillan number 3 times but had to hang up due to a queue and didn't want my wife to hear. Sadly just been told PET scan not for another week after she had been told this week, so more stress and anxiety 
Unfortunately as you may totally understand the service is very busy at the moment due to the delays in appointments and treatments but keep trying...... but do also put up a post in the Carers only group.
I have been on my blood cancer journey for over 22 years now and delays like these in ‘normal’ times are unfortunately normal...... but we don’t live in normal times.
Always around to chat.
Thanks 
