My mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer just 4 weeks ago. I feel like I stepped into someone else's life.
I'm an only child, my Dad passed away 12 years ago. Mum now lives with her new partner, he's a fair bit older than her. I'm staying near them to help out as the partner has said he can't cope and that Mum's being difficult overnight, we have a hospice space for her tomorrow.
He just called me to come help him at 4am, mum was on the floor and wouldn't get up. I don't think she's in pain as such but she keeps making these horrible moaning noises like she is; she is on strong drugs though and they seem to be making her delirious or regress maybe? No idea.
I helped get her off the floor, tucked her back in; partner wants to give her pain meds, she doest want them, it's all just so heart breaking, it's like she's already gone.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to be here away from my home and my life. I feel so resentful that having to deal with this but then I see her, so upset and crying, begging for us to leave her alone and I just shatter inside and feel so guilty.
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis and ongoing challenges.
The first thing I would be doing (having had to support elderly parents - but not cancer) is talking with your mum’s GP who will arrange for the Community Support Team for your area to get involved, there is help out there, you need to get some.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others and when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer group groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
((hugs))
