Since January I have been gradually becoming concerned about my daughters health. In 1980 I was training as a nurse and whilst I didn't pursue that career despite passing my exams I never forgot it and actually thankful as it prepared me for now. FEEL SO GUILTY...daughter shouted at me for being noisy whilst she was on conference call. I grabbed the dog and left saying I am not coming back (I swore I'd never do that given my childhood experience) but 9 years on and again cancer wants to try to take my albeit 37ytear old child, I was angry, screamed, shouted, cried in the fields and bridleway as I walked her 10 month old pup who was compliant. Then get home, husband in bits! I left my phone behind in a hurry, daughter apologising for shouting at me the telling me it's in her bones. Treatable not curable. How could I leave her? She needed us and neither of us were there then my daughter apologising for her behaviour. How could I do this to her, not be there when she needed me? We will fight this because she's a mum and she's needed but it's very hard. My daughter said it was like waiting in the Dr's for me to come home. How could I do this to her? Really cross with myself.
Hi again ...first a ((hug))
There is no handbook that can help a family walk the cancer journey. The road is full of bumps and we will all make mistakes, many times we will get it completely wrong but we all learn from the mistakes and gradually develop the ability to navigate what is a very challenging time.
Don’t beat yourself up, it’s a challenging time for everyone.
As you know and have already experienced the Macmillan Support Services is there for this specific reason...... a good listening ear so give them a call 0808 808 00 00 open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week.
((hugs))
