Hello.
My dad is coming towards the end of his life now, sleeping most of the time and is on a lot of painkillers, and I’m really struggling to cope with the reality of the situation. I feel myself getting so down especially in the evenings, where I can’t sleep at night and all I can do is think about my dad and how he isn’t going to be here anymore. I keep thinking about how my family is never going to be the same, how my dad isn’t going to be there for all the big things like me having children or my wedding or even silly things like just laughing with him and family christmases and everything. It just feels as though the rug has been well and truly ripped from underneath my whole family and it’s breaking me to see my family fall apart. I feel like I was so prepared for this to happen - for my dad not to get better, that now it is actually happening I don’t feel prepared at all. I don’t know if anyone has any coping mechanisms or is going through anything similar. I’m only in my early twenties and it just feels too soon to lose a parent and it’s such a horrible way to lose them, watching them slip away :(
_xxhello
Thank you for reaching out here and sharing some of the journey that you are on with your Dad, you are very welcome here.
To read your heart-breaking note that Dad is coming towards the end of life now, and how you imagine him lost from so many of the future events of your own life is very sad. I read from between the lines that you have tried so hard to prepare yourself for what you knew might come, but deep down you held on to the hope, as many of us do, that the day would never come. ((HUGS))
We all cope in different ways and I notice that you have already posted in a couple of the other forums here, I hope that those areas of the site will give you support and guidance over the coming days and weeks.
It certainly isn't a silly thing, the sound of your Dad laughing or the family Christmases, but it does make us realise how lucky we have been to have experienced those things within our lives, and to treasure every laugh and every moments.
I hope you will find ways of bringing those sounds into your wedding day and your future children's lives, are there recordings of these times, (No, I know it is not the same, but it is something that many of our older relatives never had, it is something that we have been blessed with) to bring your Dad into those special times, pictures, video's, voice recordings, spoken memories, is to keep Dad with you, Always.
Not getting enough sleep yourself will have a poor effect on you also, I too have trouble sleeping, and sometimes it is just the sheer exhaustion that takes me there. I really do feel for you and hope you can find some way to relax and re-charge your batteries as you will need your strength, now more than ever.
Please continue to feel that you can reach out here, anytime. we are all here to offer support and at this most difficult time, I wanted to let you know, that there is always someone listening.
Thinking of you
Lowe'
