Good morning
I've only just joined today but was diagnosed in October last year. I have stage 3 bowel cancer and I'm currently undergoing chemotherapy.
From the shock of attending a walk in centre after two days of stomach cramps to an operation to remove a tumour 24 hours later its been a whirlwind. For a while I thought I had stage 4 after Ct scan revealed a shadow on my liver. Thankfully this was a cyst and my diagnosis was confirmed as stage 3. It was told I needed 8 cycles of chemotherapy.
There has been interruptions to my treatment with liver function issues and covid but I'm back on track this week when my chemotherapy starts again.
It's been so hard having this in lockdown and I've gone from a positive.. Glass half full person to a teary wreck some days. I'm also fully aware of the impact cancer has had on my partner and loved ones. I've had such dark thoughts but kept them to myself to protect them all. I know this probably hasn't helped me emotionally.
I also have not had a good experience of my specalist nurse and do not want to have a bad experience associated with macmillan as I'm sure they are amazing. So I thought joining the forum may help with that.
In talking to her about my treatment being stopped again she told me my cancer was in the bin and the treatment was only preventative. I felt like I was being seen as demanding just expressing my fears. I'm so grateful for all my care and I'm fully aware that I'm lucky with so many people having devastating news about their cancer, but it doesn't stop the terror you feel.
I cried after this call and questioned myself all day.
I'm aware covid has had huge pressure as a key worker myself I know it's been such a tough time for all key workers.
This wasn't the only experience and for this reason I've chosen not to call her anymore. So hopefully I will feel better having the experience of this forum.
Thanks for reading
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis brings many questions, confusion and lots of stress but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer journey will help you navigate this challenging time.
The Community is organised into support groups and I see you have joined our supportive Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group, this will be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer journey.
To go to the group just click on the link above then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers can be found on our Online Information and Support Section.
All the very best
