My Dad was was taken into hospital on Wednesday. Today, Friday, I was called in to see his Consultant....I knew it wasn’t going to be good news! He has a HUGE growth in his throat, which they are 99.9% sure is cancer. On the 22nd of March, he will be having a biopsy, as well as a tracheotomy & gastroscopy(?).... basically, pretty soon he won’t be able to breath or eat/swallow.
Dad was discharged into my care today & as of now, lives with me. Just one problem.....I’m now registered disabled, living with chronic pain, Morphine dependant & struggle to look after myself!! My daughter comes over as often as she can to help me shower etc. How on earth am I going to care for my Dad AND give tracheotomy care?
I just don’t know where to start! I don’t know what to tell people & haven’t told my children yet. They are 28 & 22, but it’s never going to be nice finding out your Grandad is expected to die within the year. He’s NEVER been ill. Until this, he wasn’t on any tablets for anything. I left the hospital with what feels like half of the pharmacy department.
I have an older brother & sister who treat us like we are already dead. (Family politics!) I know they won’t be bothered about Dad, but I’m the youngest & I’ll be the one caring for Dad. I feel rather bitter that I have to do this alone.
I’m so sorry if I sound incredibly negative....I’m just so overwhelmed by it all. Dad won’t get an official diagnosis until after the biopsy but the Consultant held me back & told me that it he is 99.9% sure that it is cancer. Dad seems to think that he’s going to be well enough to go fishing after his surgery & is in total denial that it’s cancer.
He’s upstairs asleep in my room, whilst I sit downstairs in the armchair all night. He’s totally okay with that! Gee, thanks Dad!
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis and the overwhelming challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis brings many questions, much confusion and lots of stress.
Could I first advise you to call the Macmillan Support Services as they will provide lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
You can unpack your concerns and challenges and the support tram will be able to give you some advice and direction.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
I suspect that you will have to talk with your dads clinical team and GO to discuss your dad’s ongoing care abd living arrangements.
As to som practical medical information, talking with others who are walking the same type of treatment journey will help you navigate this challenging time.
The Community is organised into dedicated support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Head and neck cancer group, this will be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do check out our Family and friends and Carers only groups as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
((hugs))
Hi and a welcome to you.
The Online Community is organised into various support groups. This first list is for our Cancer specific Groups and the second list is for our various other Cancer experience groups.
Do have a look round and if you see a group that you want to connect in with
do join the group by choosing 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'
All the very best.
