Hi everyone
I'm looking for some guidance with support for my mum.
She is 82 and was diagnosed with aesophigal cancer in December. She also has vascular dementia.
She lives with dad who is 88.
Due to her age and dementia we are only looking at palliative care.
She is now eating and drinking very little and is sleeping more.
She has s cough and sounds hoarse.
It's very difficult to know how much pain she's in as shes never been one to complain and the dementia doesn't help.
I'm waiting to be contacted by the St Peter's Hospice nurse but wondered if you can let me know if this is a sign of imminent (days) departure and what practical care needs she will have.
I want to be with her but I'm currently working from home.
Many thanks
Cookie Lee xx
Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family brings many questions, much confusion and lots of stress but talking with others who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this challenging time.
Although my journey is rather different I do know that making contact with a Hospice is not an automatic sign of ‘departure’, I have a few fiends who were being supported my our local hospice for years looking at pain management and wellbeing...... never actually staying in the hospice.
The Community is organised into dedicated support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Gullet (oesophagus) cancer tumour group, this will be a good place to connect with patients and families navigating the same type of cancer journey.
To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'.
Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do check out our Carers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer group groups as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best
