Waiting for tests

I’m feeling much the same, just very frightened. I know that if I get the diagnosis that I do have cancer, then I will get lots of medical and emotional support. But I don’t want that to happen. For reasons I can’t go into, it may break me. I’m trying to take things one step, one day at a time but it’s not working. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow, like I did yesterday. But I fear the next week is going to be so hard. And it’s not as if I’ve just got to get through the week and then I know everything will be alright. It may well be exactly the opposite. And I’ve still got to tell my partner about this. I'm heading home and I hope I can hold it together.

Hi Tony61 I'm so worried about you. Remember it's normal to feel frightened & that's ok. Whatever happens there are some things beyond our control.  There are so many more treatments out there that can treat this terrible illness & so you must not give up hope. There isn't much you can do between now & your appointment other than - choose not to think about it until the day arrives, talk to your gp, phone MacMillan, reach out to ANYONE; a friend, a relative, your partner, a priest or other religious person or a helpline, You don't have to keep it all to yourself. Write down your thoughts & if necessary shred them but for the sake of your mental health try not to bottle it all up

Thank you. I know what you mean but I can't choose not to think about it. For me if it's there then it's there and I can't help it. I will talk to Macmillan again when I can. 

Keep on letting us know how you are unless that is an extra pressure

If it helps you to know; I am still struggling to come to terms with my own situation & the uncertainty around my results. I'm not feeling so good & am not sure whether to go back to my GP 

I really feel for you. I don't know what I can say that will help but I'm sending you all my support.

Hi Tony, I am also new to cancer, trying to get my head around it. Which cancer are you waiting tests on? x

Hi Gina62, I'm waiting for a gastroscopy a week today. I've been referred by my GP so not a specific cancer (as far as I know) but seeing if that's the problem.

Oh ok, i'd try not to worry too much then, try and give yourself a break, i've had many tests over the years which have come back negative, unfortunately didn't get away with it this time though still hasn't sunk in apart from being battered and bruised and feeling very emotional which is natural. Hope you get the results you want. Good luck.xx

Thank you