Waiting for tests

Hi Tony61 sorry to hear you have had a bad night's sleep & another bad day. Did you phone MacMillan's helpline? I find that if I haven't slept well or I'm alone all day I feel worse. Remember it is only a couple of days now until you can see your gp and get some more information. I found small things helped me cope with the waiting; cups of tea, a walk in the fresh air, staying in my normal routine...

Take care

I'm still very up and down. I had a good night's sleep which was great, woke up feeling ok but now I'm down again. More aches and pains and very nervous about talking to my GP tomorrow.

Bless you! Try jotting down what you want to ask & make sure your gp knows how worried you are as your mental health matters just as much as your physical health. Hope the appointment goes well for you 

Hello Tony61

Been thinking about you. How did your GP appointment go? Remember with each day that passes you are closer to your hospital appointment & finding out your diagnosis. I hope that your weekend goes well. Are you thinking of sharing your news with your family soon?

Take care of yourself

Thanks very much for asking and for thinking about me. In the end I didn't talk to the GP. I spoke to a nurse on the Macmillan support line and, based on that,  decided that the GP probably couldn't say anything which would reassure me, so I decided not to speak to her. You may not agree, but I'm ok about it. I'm still really up and down, trying not to think about the tests if I'm honest. It feels like I'm heading towards a cliff edge in a vehicle I can't control, with no idea if the road heads over the edge or turns off before. I will talk to my partner before the day, but just not yet.

Hi Tony thank you for your reply. To be honest I'm glad you've spoken to someone for support; whether that's the nurse or your GP; the important thing is not to bottle it all up; when I was waiting for my hospital appointment it all seemed rather surreal until the day of my appointment; I think the shock meant that I was on automatic pilot until the appointment was over and also afterwards until the results came through; I think maybe it 's the mind's way of coping with the stress; I chose to tell (only close) family once I had facts (ie test results) Now I'm trying to cope with the fact that my cancer risk is higher than average & there is a discrepancy in my results meaning that I need more hospital tests in June & have chosen counselling for my health anxiety rather than talking to family & friends about my cancer risk - it's important for me to feel as much in control of who knows as possible whilst I come to terms with my situation & try to have a 'normal' life as much as possible - give yourself time to take it all in & try to do something you enjoy every day; even if it's something small like going out in the fresh air - keep letting us know how you are

Hello again Tony61 Been thinking about you & hoping that you get to spend time with your family this weekend & stay in your normal routine; I think we all eventually find our own coping strategies. I really hope that things work out for you. I made sure I got out in the fresh air a bit today & had a coffee in my favourite cafe; have realised there is more to life than financial survival & at the moment value my human right to self determination for as long as possible!!!! Let me know if I say the wrong thing when trying to offer you support 

I'm doing ok thanks. I've had a pretty good day today, doing things I like and mainly able to keep my feelings under control though sometimes it all wells up. The tests day is getting closer which I'm finding hard. Thanks for all the support, it's really appreciated. 

After a good day yesterday I've woken up this morning feeling really frightened. It's only 8 days now until I go for tests and the days are rushing past. I know that people on here say the waiting and uncertainty are worst but for me it would be getting the news I dread and I just want to put that day off and cling on to the hope that I still have. I haven't told my partner yet. I know she will be really worried and frightened too and I want to put that off for her sake. I know I have to tell her soon but the time is never right. Hopefully I'll feel better later but I worry that it will just be a few hours of relative peace before it all hits again, and that's how it's going to be for the next week.

Hi Tony61 sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. There is no wrong or right way for you to feel. I find when I am alone I think about it all more & the first couple of weeks & didn't sleep well at all either. I have been told that imagining the worst is human nature. ... How are you feeling now? You have done the right thing to go to the doctor & arrange for tests so although you are dreading your hospital visit remember that the staff you see will be experts in their field & will be able to offer you emotional support as well as medical tests & help.