Support

Dear chestergirl, I am sorry to hear that your husbands cancer has come back, obviously this will have come as a huge disappointment to you both. From my experience it takes time to process these events so it’s important to give the person with the cancer some head space to absorbed what has happened, after that you can begin to explore the way forward together in relation to further treatment, emotional support for you and for him and finding a way to talk about difficult things in a way you are both comfortable with. As hard as it might be to resist it’s important not to overwhelm him at this early stage with your love and support but to take your lead from him and when he’s ready try to gently get him to open up about his hopes and fears. I hope this helps 

best wishes 

jane

Hi , I’m sorry to hear about what you and your husband are going through. Like Johnty who has replied to you I’m a cancer patient, (different type) and I was thinking that you might want to get some support from other carers who might be able to identify with what you are going through at the moment. Below I’ve put a link to the very supportive carers only group, have a look by clicking on the link, then you could press the join button decide how often you wish to be notified of discussions and join or start a discussion yourself. 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers_only/discussions

I found it useful for my husband to hear the positive side of things when I heard all the negative in an appointment, but also we had to have the chat that your wanting to show each other we cared and were heading through this together. We do all go ( patient and carer at our own pace of taking things in. I found it helpful to read the information and support sections on my type of cancer, and also the coping emotionally and talking sections. I’m not sure if these links from a carers perspective will help, I hope so.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/someone-close-has-cancer

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/talking-about-cancer/if-someone-has-cancer

You might also want to join the head and neck cancer group another link coming up,

 https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/head-neck-cancer/discussions

i hope some of my reply helps, the Macmillan support line can also be a good place to off load and move forward from. I know when my cancer returned after being no evidence of disease I felt really disappointed, before moving on to other emotions.

Best wishes.