Hello all I am 43 and just finished a 2 1/2 year treatment for multiple myeloma. I am just on a phased return to work this week.
My fiance and daughter live in the USA, I have been in UK for that time for treatment so I haven't been with them.
I had started to drink wine etc, and when I do I send her nasty text messages that I don't mean, I blamed her for things that wasn't her fault.
I have changed BC I don't like meeting people and going to groups or birthday parties just make me feel scared.
The last text I sent was saying that she hasn't supported me enough etc (she has) and a few other things. I have just felt distant I miss them and my daughter who is nearly 3 so much.
This time she has told me she wants space and time to think things out and I haven't seen my daughter for 3 weeks.
I have stopped drinking. I want to get my old self back and I hope I haven't ruined my family.
She asked me not to contact her till she is ready to talk to me. So I won't text or call her.
I don't know if that's a good thing or bad that she said this ? Maybe it's a test to see if I mean that I am willing to work on this to save our family. And stop drinking.
I told her and her family that the cancer and treatment has mental broke me but if I loose my family I feel like I went through the treatment for nothing.
The not knowing what she is going to say is killing me.
Hi and a warm welcome to the online community
As you have found being diagnosed with cancer affects the whole family and not just the person with the disease.
It may help you to join the myeloma group where you can chat to others who have been through the same treatments and who will understand what affect this has had on you.
To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself or post a question after selecting 'start a discussion' or join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute it would be really useful if could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
I hope that you manage to sort things out with your fiance.
x
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007