Just Stop

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Hi I hope everyone is well. Last time I posted I was struggling with severe symptoms of generally feeling unwell. I put this down as just starting immunotherapy and this combined with the stress of just moving and the local garage being a pain the ass about fixing my car. Turns out my red blood cells had dropped again along with my iron levels, so I get through that start building myself back up start feeling ok.

Then a few weeks ago my Mum died suddenly. I have no family of my own and no really close friends that I see regularly so I relied on my parents to help out a bit, and obviously my Dad needs time and space to grief. You can probably imagine that my brain has gone it to total melt down, I'm grieving, worrying and trying to support my Dad, trying to find additional help for my needs like dog walking, housework etc, worrying about the future etc etc around and around.

I love my medical team I appreciate all there help and care, but by god I wish they would just leave me alone right now. I had 2 appointments yesterday, the first with occupational therapy the second was a follow up with the nurse, are you doing your fatigue diary, pain diary, planning, medication, support groups, emotions on and on around and around. LEAVE ME ALONE with all these appointments telling me to record everything take this drug do that, when do you ever have time just to live .

I'm so sick of this I really feel like stopping treatment, end of rant.

tvman 1 day ago

Hi Sweet21Pea, sorry to read that you're feeling so low but once you get these 2 appointments over you'll have some breathing space and everything will feel much more relaxed and free. Until then try to bear up and look forward to lying around with your feet up.

Tvman x

Love life and family.

Stella2020 1 day ago

I am so sorry about your mum’s passing and a sudden one is well. It must be such a shock to you. No wonder you are feeling very low. This is entirely normal and do take your time and be kind to yourself.

I also find NHS although very good at providing care, but has no regards for our time and life. They just insert appointments here there, everywhere. It is called time toxicity effect of cancer treatment. I try to take control by refuse to just take the appointment offered and try to group things together. For example, I insisted on take do the blood work and then chemotherapy on the same day. Rather than going for blood one day, then wait for the doctor to call the next day, then chemo on the third day.

I don’t know whether you can manage your appointment differently?

Take care

Stella

Leelaloo 1 day ago

Hi Sweet21Pea, I am so sorry to hear about the devastating loss of your Mom. I lost one of my good friends on Friday unexpectedly, he was 46. It is such a shock. I know what you mean about the medical team sometimes the appointments all come at once. Do you have a local fcb group or whatsapp group that you can ask if anyone is willing to help out with the dog walking etc. We do and people are very good at volunteering for helping others out. By the way I don't record anything I hate writing things down so I just don't do it. Sending you big hugs.

Lee 2 x