Feeling alone and scared

Hi Eddie and boxoffrogs,

I received a letter from the hospital this morning for an appointment with radiotherapy on Monday 10th February. I remain terrified of course but it is such a relief to have something now in the diary to work towards. Let’s hope the next two weeks can pass as quickly as possible and with no further incidents!

I’ve also been to my local Maggies in Newcastle. They really are great places aren’t they, a safe bolt hole and it’s good to meet people who know something of what we’re going through. I also find it nice going there in between appointments, not that the hospital is horrible but it’s nice to be somewhere less clinical. 

I am so relieved to have that letter and will try and deflect myself from cancer by looking at cushions online now! 

Clare xx

Hi Clare,  that is good news, knowing your date is so much better than being in limbo, and gives you time to prepare any questions you have. 

And that's great, you went to Maggies, I'm on a few forums and would recommend them to everyone, as you say, they are wonderful places, my Maggies in Leeds is only 5 mins from the hospital, which helps as driving and parking is horrendous, so if I'm a hour early, there's somewhere nice to wait. Have you tried any of the therapies or courses Clare 

Enjoy browsing for your cushions, will you be getting one for Archie. 

Eddie xx  

Hi Clare, 

So glad you have a date!! And soft furnishings seem like a very good distraction. Reckon Archie may appreciate them too if any purchases are made!

Being terrified is normal, I hope you manage to get moments of reprieve. Last week someone asked how I was doing and for the first time since diagnosis I honestly answered "yeah, things are good" because at that moment in time, they truly were. If I could bottle that feeling.....! 

Hugs,

Lex

Hi Lex and Eddie,

It really is good to have a date now, I wish I could fast forward to the 10th but am trying to stay distracted (easier said sometimes!)

Wonderful that you felt good at that moment Lex, it’s so important we still are able to enjoy life and have many good moments despite this horrible disease (another sometimes easier said I know!)

I haven’t done any courses at Maggies Eddie but this is something I should think about more. I was thinking about acupuncture as I’ve heard that mentioned there but haven’t really looked into it properly. What courses and therapies have you found useful?

Finally, the really important stuff. I had good time choosing pictures and cushions for the home yesterday. I also found this picture of his nibbs relaxing on some cushions like Lord Fauntleroy so I hope he approves of the new ones when they arrive

Clare xx

Oh I predict that he is gonna LOVE the new cushions, he looks quite the connoisseur! I've ordered a new mattress, my old one is so thin in the middle now that I can feel the bed lever base through it. Delivery is the 19th Feb! Intrigued to see Tiki's reaction, she doesn't like change. But will keep her blankie unwashed so it smells like her then.

Aberdeen has a local cancer centre as well as maggies so they work together to not duplicate. Maggies here is more groups, CLAN is more 1-2-1. I've had reflexology (fancy foot rub) and found it really relaxing and calming. I'm very nervous about body stuff because bone mets so it felt perfect. Maggies here run a "living with cancer" course that I'm considering. 

Take care

Lex

xx

Hi Clare, it's so important to enjoy life, are very wise words, and it's good to see getting your appointment has helped with the emotions, I do relaxation a Maggie's, originally to help me sleep and switch off those dark thoughts, and try to get to the centre to do it, but I have done it live on-line a couple of times, you can just turn up and do it when you can. I also did the memory and concentration course, you have to sign up to this one, it's a 5 week course, for those whose memory has been affected by treatment. but I go now to chat with the support specialists, or friends  I've made there. Clare, have you thought about doing an art or craft group, I do a few of these, ther very relaxing you meet lots of nice people, and there something you can carry on at home with. I see Archie's busy again, probably dreaming of his new cushions.

Eddie xx

Good idea to keep her blankie so there is something familiar there for her and hopefully she’ll like the new mattress. I know what you mean about animals not liking sudden change:)

I'm glad reflexology was good for you, anything that can help to relax is worth doing, I’m going to look into this more. 

sending strokes to Tiki. Clare xx

Hi Eddie,

Those courses sound helpful, it’s crossed my mind that radiotherapy might have an impact on my memory which is quite scary to think about although as I say this is something I’d like to do if it helps. Did you find the relaxation course helped you to sleep?

I love arts and craft type things although have never really done anything myself like that, perhaps I should try! 

Yes, Archie is dreaming of his new cushions I suspect. He definitely won’t be dreaming of going for a walk in this cold weather! Xx

So glad you now have a date. One day at a time!

Hi Clare,  as Lex said,and I couldn't agree more Maggies are fab. The relaxation course was a godsend, I'd gone 18 months on 2 hours a nights sleep, and within a month of doing relaxation I was up to 5 hours, it even helped me get rid of my restless leg, and the memory and concentration course has been really helpful too, knowing whats happening, how to adjust to it and meeting others in the same situation has eased a lot of worries, and helped me improve my memory by teaching me how to retrain my brain,

I do love arty things, and do a few art/craft groups, I'm doing card craft, paper craft and gel plate printing, and starting a pottery course soon along with a beer and paint group. 

I also love a massage, I've been having them for over 30 years,  I can only have a light full body massage now, or reflexology and only by fully qualified massage therapists, which is vital for us.

Archie's a smart cookie, he knows to keep warm, dry, and cosy, which is what I, and hopefully you are doing as well.

Eddie xx