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my brain cancer is incurable. I am talking with a councillor but nothing helps and I have a need to talk to ppl about preparing for death and how do you do it? 

I feel lost going into the unknown. I would like for it to be a course where this is talked about. How about you, do you; do you have the need to comprehend the enormity of what awaits...

Do you have someone who is able to talk with you about death?

  • Hi xaviva, I have incurable brain cancer, we've never died before so I can't answer myself to be honest, I just get on with what time I have and think I'm lucky to know that not maybe have a terrible accident, I hope you get some help and advice better than mine and good luck and take good care


  • thank you for sharing.

    I am seeking knowledge, but nobody has been there and come back, so we have to figure it on our own. a monumental task.

  • Somebody might have on here we'll see


  • Lec...I had three lots of STEREOTACTIC RADIOSURGERY/Radiotherapy; IN March this year, i am now at the end if the 3 months I need to let the radiotherapy do its thing. its been 3 months now. I am eagerly awaiting next week for the results, to see if the tumor shrank and the next steps.

    my cancer is on my cerebellum. 

  • Waiting is hard but the longer the wait the better I think , I have another scan rushed through this week as there is movement so I have to wait also , I have gliablastima 


  • Hi Xaviva

    I've been on this forum a while now, and there aren't many posts about death, or the very end of life...what to expect or how to prepare.

    I have just finished reading an amazing book by a woman who has early-onset dementia. It is called 'One Last Thing', by Wendy Mitchell. It is her description of how to put in place a 'plan' so that her wishes are met, even when she hasn't got the capacity to communicate. It is an incredibly useful and inspiring book. it includes a lot of legal info about power of attorney stuff....worth thinking about. But also interviews with lots of different people about end-of- life care.

    As to information about what to expect when you are dying, what physically happens to your body,  on this website is a thorough description, in the cancer info and support section, under info for those caring for the dying. I read this earlier today.

    I'm not sure why there aren't more open discussions about death....maybe people don't want to face it, or want to avoid hurting peoples' feelings.....but where else can you post about it, if not here??? We are all going to die sometime!

    On that note, I'll sign off, but if ever you want to have a discussion, you can always private message me, then we can be as open and honest with each other as we want.

    Stay strong


  • Hi Xaviva, though I have had terminal cancer for two years, I have lived with terminal heart issues since birth, issues that have stopped my heart 12 times, 4 of which we thought there was no hope of coming back from but as the longest my heart has stopped is under 3 minutes, can it be said I was dead, I don't know, I do know i have no memory of it and no fear of it either. My preparation was done before my cancer diagnosis, as though I am ok with dying I do fear a difficult end, I have done my ReSPECT form, DNR/DNACPR form and POA and I may also do Compassion in Dying's advanced decision form. these are all in place to avoid an unpleasant death and allow me to get on with life without that worry. I talk to lady who I go to for a massage, her faith is very important to her, I don't know what I believe, she has never tried to convert me though it is clear the comfort she finds in her beliefs, which has a positive impact on me, best wishes.


  • Good evening all. Haven't been on here for a while, but have popped in to have a look at what's going on the title of this post court my eye. I've  been incurable fir 4 years now still have immunotherapy once a month. When it stops working I  think I'll be using  canabis to help me through. As we should be granted the right for assisted dying, but at present it's against the law in England. I have everything in place burial plot, urn is in the store room, song chosen undertaker picked who knows my wishes. Money for stone and a rather good party .  Only problem  I won't be there. I've excepted my position. I am living my life as best I can, I do get down days as we all do. Weekends away meals out and I'm partial to a nice wine or 2. My cancer is in both lungs  and the outside of my stomach oh yes left shoulder as well. None of us have done it before but I'm prepared for it but don't want it any time soon. Take care xx


  • Hi moi, well said! We have it and have to embrace it and live the best we can, better than getting hit by a bus I always say, it's accepted for me but also I'd like a little longer 


  • It's good to see you posting Moi! I know you haven't been on here for a while. The book I mentioned, in my reply to Xaviva, had a lot in it about assisted dying. I fully agree with your sentiments about it.

    When I have had to face less than pleasant procedures, I have consoled myself by thinking 'I only have to go through this once.' I suppose I think about death that way too....we only have to go through it once, and then we'll have no memory of least, I think we won't! 

    I don't want it any time soon either, and I hope that I will have achieved most of what I still want to, before it happens, so I can let go peacefully.

    Make the most of the time we have left!