Living with incurable cancer, my thoughts only

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I have had a few days reflecting on certain things, within my life.

Stage 4 incurable cancer, and if i get to March 16th will be seven years, since i heard those dreaded words.

That is what i have been reflecting on, in one way and does sound terrible, i cannot say i am glad, but on reflection, it for me has a slight positive feel.

It gives you a chance to put things into place, my funeral is booked, my will is in order and so on.

Started to sort out things with in the home. little bit at a time.

I had no thought on writing this, till gone 6pm tonight and it came to me. given the choice, i would rather have had this diagnosis, than just one day, without warning, my time was up.

I can not think how my family would have coped with that, and what a shock for them,

Yes slowly, they know that the situation can change at any time, so in one way, i am slowly preparing them, i do not relish what might be, but have no choice, it is a fight we are all on, and for me one day that fight will end.

My own thoughts,  and they are my thoughts, i would rather it this way, than suddenly i am gone, and leave my family devastated.

Yes i know i am on borrowerd time so try and make the most of it, every day is a bonus.

  • Yes Ellie I understand , I feel the same everything in place, I have my urn and we have bought our family cremation plot. Like you I'm on borrowed time but I look at it as a warning, II might get hit by a bus tomorrow, then I'd have cheated the cancer xx

    Moi

  •  A very important thought to share Ellie. I agree in many ways, although it’s only less than a year for me I have now so many things in place that I previously ignored.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 

    M x 

  • Hi  

    I agree and feel the same, a little time to sort things in preparation. Don't get me wrong, I would have preferred to carry on with my life.  But I think of it as my body has sent me a sign, that I couldn't carry on at that pace and level of stress. I now live for today and don't look any further ahead than next week. 

    I understand.

    A x

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  • Yes Ellie I totally understand that. I am earlier in my diagnosis and haven’t sorted those things yet but I’ve been thinking a lot about it all. Which I wouldn’t have had chance to do if I got run over by a bus to use to use Moi’s example. Been thinking about what sort of funeral etc, have already sorted will anyway so don’t need to think about that. It is a positive, you’re right and it’s good to think of it that way. 
    Jac x

  • Thank you every one, was my thoughts, though glad in one way i was not alone xx

  • I feel similarly.

    I've started sorting my personal things out and getting the legal stuff done.

    And I feel I have more control this way.

    Vivien

  • Thanks Ellie your post got people thinking and sharing there thoughts with us as I no my family and probably a lot of others don't like to talk about those end of life things xx

    Moi

  • Thank you for this thread Ellie73. I hadn't thought about this. 

  • Was not sure on the thread, though where my thoughts, when drying my dishes and had to put pen to paper, as you say. xxx

  • TX Moi was not sure about posting.

    I have already told my kids, when i say enough is enough, that is my decision and please respect it.