Has any one been asked this during their journey

Some thing i have  never thought about, till today, no one has ever asked about the DNR, but makes you think xx

Hi Pet that would be my wish if we had assisted dying here, but we don't.  I'm so glad you can get your wish, but not for a while yet keep going as long as possible xx

Moi

Hi - a bit similar but I was doing my PoA and my solicitor asked whether I had considered a living will, so she sent me a draft.  It's not a living will, it's called an advance directive and it documents the boundaries of when you would refuse treatment in case you are not able to communicate at that time.  

The draft was all medical.  "Why is she sending me this" I thought - she is a solicitor not a doctor!  I had some issues with it.  Throughout it mentioned "independent living" being the threshold, and when that wasn't possible it read like "don't treat".  But it never defined "independent living".  WAs it a lack of mobility, not being able to look after yourself, need sheltered housing, need help and support with the essentials in life?   Also it mentioned treatment by IV like it was invasive and that the doctors were a big bad profession for keeping people alive with little quality of life.  Also the suggestion that an "off the shelf" template could meet my requirements - we are all unique and  individuals with our own lens on the world.  

I thought about it for several days / weeks and then I was due at my oncologists (I like my onco & have a good relationship with him) so I took it along and explained the situation.  I said to him "if you gave me legal advice about my Will or my PoA I'd be feeding back to you that these items are outside your professional sphere!".    He said "this is a bit short" (2 pages).  Then said that we were miles away from the advance directive and end of life discussions yet.  "We have lots more treatment to try", he said.

When I went back to the solicitor I gave her some feedback.  Her response was that it was just a starter document for discussion.  But then I would want to talk about it with my oncologist not my solicitor.   I felt that a solicior giving that template to some people would just sign blind and I felt that was irresponsible.  

That's it, I might return to the advance directive later, at an appropriate time, with my oncologist.  

Bit of a long story!!  This was in Aug/Sept 2022.  

I just remembered something else my onco said.  He explicitly said that in situation X you wouldn't resuscitate because there is no point, it's going to happen again.  I don't know whether he meant the medics would be able to take that decision or that it would be something for the advance directive.  

When I was in hospital and they didn't think I was going to come out, the palliative care people were round like flies on a jampot. Several doctors also came round and I felt under a lot of pressure to sign it. The fact that I was full of morphine didn't help either as I couldn't properly assess what I was being asked to sign. One day, after another visit, I did sign it. Then things actually did get worse and I was scheduled for further surgery. My surgeon visited me the evening after I'd signed it and begged me to reverse the decision. She said that if anything happened to me on the operating table, they wouldn't be able to do anything and would have to let me die. Surgery was next day. I reversed the decision.

Since then others have tried to sign me up and each time I said no. My GP has now left this on the back burner and if things go downhill in the future, I may revisit it, but TBH I don't actually care for the way the document is drafted. It's a work in progress I guess. Rainie x

Hi girls, just read your posts, very informative, I know about those choices but I haven't considered them, my wife and I have discussed the possibility of end of life care, she knows that if there is no advantage in further treatment not to bother, as I don't just want to die slowly in a coma, this is nessesary to talk about but definitely not nice.

Still thankyou all for sharing your thoughts an information.

I got the advanced directive from my palliative care consultant recently as my GP had given me a Do no attempt Rescusitation form and the consultant said no that's no what you need. I have the form on my bedside table not 100% completed yet but it soon will be.

My daughter's aren't happy with some of my decisions but they will always know when the time comes I went my way 

My family don't like my decisions,  but I've told them they are MINE to decide and I don't  want to drag the end out, when it comes xx

Moi

I agree with you it's our decision but only when necessary, and hopefully not for quite some time, think happy thoughts girl's 

I truly agree with you