I've been told how well I look by friends and at the moment I do feel OK most of the time, apart from my bowels playing up, been told by consultant it's probably the tumour in my cervix pressing on my bowels, plus long term effects of the brachytherapy. I feel quite nauseous when this happens, usually in the mornings. It's funny, but sometimes other people think because you look OK it can't be that serious and that there must be something that can be done and that I'm being pessimistic and negative, when in fact I'm just being realistic.
Also, because I didn't lose my hair during my chemo and radiotherapy last year, maybe they think the cancer can't possibly be that bad. It didn't work and the cancer came back. I get a bit irritated when others tell me to keep positive. I know they mean well of course and on the whole I'm keeping cheerful with my rather dark humour, which upsets some people who interpret it as negativity. I've always had it though, well before my diagnosis. I'm enjoying days out and doing things, planning holidays etc and had a comment from a friend saying that for someone who's so ill I get about a lot! It seems you can't win. Rant over.. for now!
Am I unusual, in that I don't really mind it when someone says how well I look?
It's when they put a BUT In front of it that I dont like.
"You look really well!" I see as a compliment
"But you look so well!" I take it that the person is privately thinking. "She can't be that bad if xhe looks so well" almost like they think you're a liar.
The one I don't like is "you're a strong woman" what's that even supposed to mean??.
They probably say your a strong woman because they don't think they could be able yo cope with our diagnosis and just get on with life xx
Moi
I think that's OK too Harebelle and you and Moi2 both put things very well.
Hi Harebelle , sometimes I feel like saying , " haven't you seen me when I'm not strong " Another is people saying " aren't you doing well " that riles me as well. Xx
Moi
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