Completely blindsided!

Morning Elvira, sorry that you find yourself here. I too was recently diagnosed. It is a shock and you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. I was advised to just take it hour by hour and not to overwhelm myself by looking too far forward. I can say that the people in this group are very supportive, so you have come to the right place. Take care x

Oh mate! I’m sorry, that’s tough to take. Spanglesx is spot on, of course: take it slowly, do one thing at a time if you can, get as much advice as is useful for you. Ask for help when you need it - you’ve got a good reason to!

I’m sure you’re right that speaking to the oncology team will clarify things a bit. I have found that I need to know what the current state of play is before I make any plans about how to deal with it.

It can get easier. It truly can.

Thank you so much for the reply. I’m trying to not look up stuff on google but it feels a little better knowing others who are going through it who will answer any questions x

Thank you for the reply it sort of makes a difference xx

Google can be terrifying....but I know the temptation.  People on here reminded me that everyone is different and averages and prognosis can be wildly out. Currently I am in a lot of pain and am limited on what I can do. My treatment starts next week and I keep telling my self once the lump shrinks I will feel better, also I am very impatient and want to get to acceptance stage so that I can enjoy the things I do. Currently the diagnosis seems all consuming. Ask any questions on here and people are very supportive x

Hi Elvira! I was similarly blindsided going from curable to let’s live with it. Try to keep as positive as possible, not easy I know, but life needs to be lived. Don’t go Googling as it will lead you down far too many rabbit holes. I have found great support through our Maggie’s Centre here in Scotland, with a great support group that always leaves us laughing…make use of all the support you can. Know that others are with you every step of the way

Hi Elvira 

I also have metastatic breast cancer. I was probably de novo metastatic but I found out 3 or 4 months after my primary diagnosis. It’s such an awful shock isn’t it. I know I spent some time mentally planning my funeral before deciding I had to get on and live each day as it came. Both of those events were in 2022 and I am still here, in what I hope is ongoing remission. There are many more treatments these days and I hope there is something in the oncology armoury that keeps you stable. 

Thank you so much for the reply, I don’t think I have enough information yet although I am starting to see that I may have more time than I originally thought when we had the new diagnosis. I have my first oncology appointment this week and I am writing down questions. The ridiculous thing is that I’m well, apart from having double vision which started last Friday, which then triggered the MRI which found the tumours. I am a very positive person but I am so grateful for this community even though I’ve only just found! Thank you again x

Thank you for the reply, it’s such a comfort to know I’m not on my own. I will look and see if there is a Maggie’s near where I live. I am a very optimistic and positive person and I feel that I’m going to need all that! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply x

I have never been unwell from cancer either. The primary was picked up on a routine mammogram. Neither I nor any of the people treating me could find it manually. The secondaries found on a scan done for other reasons a few months later. I had no lymph node involvement, they hadn’t expected it to have metastasised. 

We have this information on questions you might like to ask https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/treatment/your-treatment-options/questions-to-ask-your-healthcare-team