hello - looking for hope in the daily struggle xx

I will reply to my own message  what you do is keep going and hope the following day is better. For today it feels less achy and less miserable and I will smell the roses. My very best to you. I guess I should write a journal rather than talk to myself publically. 

Hi Charley, I have just read your post and feel your pain/worry and all the rest. But don’t know what to say; I find it all hard too. x 

Ahh thanks mvic. I hope your day goes smoothly and thankyou for saying hello.. felt a bit like I was shouting into the abyss and replying to myself…  there is really nothing to say but I guess saying out loud sometimes reduces the inner burden and throws it out there. My best wishes to you and thankyou. It is hard and just acknowledging that is true and helpful. 

Hello Charley, you obviously have had, and are having a difficult time of it. My own circumstances are not the same as yours but I have a family who are aware of my terminal cancer diagnosis. I wasn't expecting to have lasted this long.

I've been having treatment now for nearly four years and it's been full of highs and lows both physically and mentally.

I have accepted that eventually cancer will cause my demise. I'm just not sure how soon that will be.Its taken me a while to get my head around that.

Each of us are different, but the way I try to deal with things now, is taking one day at a time as much as possible. With all the other challenges life throws up, together with dealing with cancer,  that's enough for me. 

I'm not sure if that helps, but I just thought I'd reply to your post. Take care. Neil.

Hi Charlie,  I haven't  been on this site for a while. My cancer started as bowl. Surgery they got it all. 1 year later it came back all over the place, given 12 to 18 months that was 2019. Still here I have been clear for13 months, yay,, off treatment for 1 year. My kids are grown my grandsons are your kids age.

I think I just refused to die, angry, hurt. I stood in the kitchen  and screamed my lungs out. 

But as it's been said One day at a time. Try to keep occupied, I played games on my phone, read so many books. Every morning 1/2 hour of dancing or exercising.  I know you can't  walk at the moment, armchair exercises, loud music. Down day I just lay on the sofa eating treats, crying the lot.

Hope is all we have. I'm on 4 monthly scans this year, next one May, I still get very nervous about results, so hang in there lovely, your not on uour own. Come on this site and rant, it's what it's for. Goid luck and keep posting. X

Moi

Hi Charley10, I'm  so sorry for how you're feeling at the moment but it's fully understandable when you can't get out walking at the moment  plus the weather at this time of the year doesn't do much to lift our spirits,  is there any groups you could join at your hospital where you can speak with people who are in the same position or are you like myself just trying not to surround myself with cancer related things unless it's going for treatment? I hope and pray that your scan results are stable and don't forget you have 2 very important reasons for fighting against this horrible disease,  your children depend on you and i myself find that a great motivation,  i hope you soon get back on your feet again and no you don't have to accept the incurable diagnosis,  i will always try and have hope for a miracle...take care x

Thankyou I appreciate the message very much and am bloody delighted to hear that you doing ok. I love your theories on getting through this by any means necessary and what you say is helpful. Right now I am in a bit of a slump and need to kick my arse but I just don’t seem to be able to drag myself out of this one very well. Thankyou and thanks for telling me im not on my own. 

Thankyou x and one day at a time is helpful

and i need to stop this crazy arse worrying that only serves to make me feel crap. Im glad you are doing ok. And thanks for replying to my post. Sort of made me smile that I was just talking to myself in a public forum like a bitter so thanks for interjecting xx 

nutter not bitter xx 

Thanks for your hopefulness xx the messages help me pull my head out but boy this scan time been a bad one this time. No rhyme nor reason to it just felt very powerless over it all this time which sits rather heavily but I’m trying. X thankyou and best to you