Struggling with diagnosis given this week

Hi Roro 

Sorry you have had such shocking and horrible news. I remember when I went into my consultation where I thought I am going to discuss radiotherapy to cure my condition. Instead the consultation is about how I can’t have it and now is on palliative pathway and will have chemo for life instead.

It will take sometime to absorb such shocking news especially it is such a nasty surprise. I am sorry no one has got back to you re next steps yet. I would keep on chasing them. Things can feel more settled once you have a concrete plan. I would advise ask for a PORT instead of PICC line as it much lower maintenance and allow you to have pretty much normal life with it.

The mental struggle is as much if not more than the physical side. Seek psychological help if needed. Be kind to yourself and have compassion for yourself in such a difficult time.

People here are all so wonderful and wise. They certainly helped to accept my situation and get on with living. I am now in a best psychological place since I was 14. You will come through this and able to enjoy your life again.

Just take your time. Xx

Hello Roro

Everything Stella had already said is spot on . My original diagnosis was benign and then things rapidly escalated!, but all that is in the past and I’m now able to enjoy living in the present 

The enormity of it all is something only the people here understand, take your time and definitely seek some support . If you have a Maggie’s cancer centre near you then pop in , they have helped me hugely . If not Maggie’s there may be similar 

It will take time to process so take one day at a time . There are many lovely people on here who have already lived for a number of years with a Stage 4 diagnosis 

You will feel better once you know what your medication will be - uncertainty is the worst place to be 

Gentle hugs

Lucy xx 

Thank you so much for your reply, it really helps to connect with people who understand. And who are so positive x

Thank you. A gentle hug back. It’s so surreal, life is both normal & at the same time I’m stuck in an internal scream almost. Hearing positive words from people who understand means a lot x

Hi, we were all new once soon know how you fill.

I was diagnosed on day one as stage  FOUR. That was Nine years ago.

So many things to look forward to never thought  I would see any, I have done and many more, and more coming along.

Not saying its,  easy at times, but can be done.

Use the site and group, every one supports each other, a reason I have got this far, been here since day one. Only people going threw a diagnosis, truly know,  i have family, they support me, though they have to watch.

You can do this. x

Thank you, today having these messages has meant so much, I’m glad I did this x

Hi RoRo22, sorry to hear that you have been told that you're now stage 4 and untreatable. What a nightmare scenario you're going through. 

It's lamentable that your specialist nurse hasn't returned your call, that has happened to both me and my wife yet there's always been a valid reason. I'm sure you're not being ignored purposely. 

I can feel that you're desperate and struggling but you've made a courageous step to come on here where we don't judge anyone. I feel you should tell your kids asap because it may get more and more difficult to do so. If one of them had been diagnosed with something you would like to help them but that can't be done unless they open up and talk. And the same for you, you can't sit on this much longer without their love and help but of course it's up to you at the end of the day. 

Good luck, we'll be here for you no matter what your choice.

Tvman x

Hi Roro, 

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been left in some sort of limbo. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020, and in 2022 it had spread to chest nodes, and then early 2024 it spread to brain, liver and bones. I’ve had to have prophylactic surgery on my entire right leg, and am only just walking/waddling again. But there were some hiccups with my immunity and reactions to a new chemo which set me back to be honest. 
I don’t usually write on here, but do read as many as possible as it gives me a reason to stay positive
as I’ve also experienced gaps and waits for treatment , I’ve looked into how to help myself too.  Drinking the juice of half a freshly squeezed lemon in slightly cooled boiled water each morning before eating helps the liver, my last scan showed a lot of response and dead cancer cells. Could be the chemo, but it could also be the lemon helping too. Cashews and pistachios are good for bones, in fact my last bone scan showed bone regeneration which is rare with mets in bone. Turmeric is very good for you too, I choose the tablets that also contain Ginger.  To stay positive I’d recommend downloading the Insight Timer App as they have some really good meditations you can listen to. My nightly 10 min one is called Healing Meditation for people with cancer by Dr Robert Puff. 
I was able to get 6 free counselling phone sessions with Helen Rollason, and the difference in my thought process from beginning to end was a resounding success.  
My mantra has always been, if it’s treatable, it’s beatable.
And for now,  Im not dying of cancer, I’m living with it.

sorry for such a long response, I really feel for you and everyone else on here, and just hope to be able to help alleviate fear. My oncologist believes a positive mental attitude can help too. Not always easy to achieve, so you might have to fake it until you make it.

i wish you well, and hope you get your treatment plan very very soon.

S xx

Thank you. I’ve only held off telling them the change to my original diagnosis for a particular reason. It’s just til the end of next week. I know it will be better once it’s all out there. I’ve started letting a few other people know since posting here today, it’s helped me take that step x

Hi RoRo, I'm happy to hear that you are going to let the kids know soon, especially as you've started telling others, God forbid if they found out from someone else. That's just my opinion RoRo, yours may differ. I really don't want you to think I'm telling you what to do. As I said previously, you're not going to be judged here, we have so many differing opinions that are respected. 

Hope you have a lovely weekend RoRo, we've had mostly rain here in Northern Ireland for the last 3 days which has been good for the garden, especially the weeds!

Hope there is some good tennis on the telly and in the late afternoon the football is on, starring Wales and tonight England have their first match. Good luck to both. It might seem unusual to you, with me from Northern Ireland but if they're not playing I always give my support to other British teams. 

Take care RoRo

Tvman x