New to the group

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Good afternoon to you all. I have got secondary breast cancer in my lungs and was diagnosed just over 2 years ago. After the initial shock of the cancers return,  I am trying to be as positive as possible. Just some days it is so hard. My grown up children are all very supportive but I feel guilty if I let them see I am feeling a wee bit down. I do not wish to burden them with occasional tears. I am so lucky that I have the most amazing Oncology Unit at our Hospital with a top nursing team and Macmillan nurses. Maybe someone has had the same issue and will be kind enough to let me know how they managed to get rid of the guilt trip

A warm hug to you all from 

Alana in Moray 

  • Love back to you my dear. I am overwhelmed by the lovely replies I have received. I live in Dufftown near Elgin and have my cat and loads and loads of books  to keep me company. It is freezing here too, thank god for heated blankets. 
    hug from me to you 

  • Welcome Alana, Sorry you have to be here but it's a very understanding and supportive group. We even have a laugh. I too miss horse riding and other more active pursuits, but we are where we are. I now support Hillside Animal Sanctuary near me and they rescue lots of horses, so I can at least go there and have a cuddle whenever I can. Hugs to you.  Rainie x

  • Hi Alana, I am also fortunate to have an amazing oncologist and team at the Beatson in Glasgow but it doesn't stop me occasionally having a down day, we are all human after all. I try not to show my amazing family all I'm feeling and yes you sometimes do feel guilty for what they are going through but just remember we didn't ask for this, it was out of our control.

    That is why it is good to come on here and chat to others who know exactly how we are feeling without worrying our families! You can get things off your chest and possibly others will have some suggestions how they got over what is happening to you now!

    I hope you will stay with us here as it won't be long until others new to the site will come along that you may be able to help!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Alana Just want to say 'hello' and glad that you took the initiative to join this group. It took me ages too. There is always some one to listen to you and understand where you're at maybe better than those who are our nearest and dearest. I know what you mean about feeling guilty that our family have to join us on this horrible jouney but we have also learnt a lot from it. It brought my sister and I closer together wheras before we had drifted apart and me and my sons have gone sloppy on each other lol! and tell each other that we love them. Yes, I have my bad days when I can't pretend so hubby and the boys worry about me but on my good 'normal' days we laugh and have fun which makes up for the bad days.

    Sending a warm back to you

    Judy in North Wales

  • Hello  ALana01 and another warm welcome from me, I am pretty sure we can all relate to how you are feeling and how your feelings may affect your family it's all perfectly normal, I too get upset  and if i need to cry, i do, no matter where i am as it does not bother me. and it releases a lot of stress and i feel so much better for it. Like you i tried to be strong with family, trying to carry on as normal till one day i started crying in front of them, which was a blessing as they told me soon after i had been like a different person for some time and they were happy to have their old dad back. I too am fairly new, and the group has been so good to me, as it is to everyone. take care.

    Eddie

  • Hi I also have secondary breast cancer in my lungs, on ibrance and Letrozole like you. Some days are hard and I find the weather is also miserable.

    Today my three sisters booked a holiday to Venice together for later in the year, obviously I can’t book with them as I don’t know what my cancer will look like and how my breathing will be ( particularly rubbish at the moment also having oxygen therapy). Now they are excited and so they should be but I am feeling sorry for myself which isn’t like me. I guess I saw that they will now have to make plans without me and my heart broke.

    i guess sometimes we have to be grateful for what we have. I treasure my husband and family and take each day as a gift. Everyone has bad days. Like you, some days you can be positive and some not and this is okay.

    sending love and hugs xx

  • Hello Bassy and welcome I really admire your attitude and trying to be positive, but we both know there will be down days too which is to be expected, though having a loving family really helps. Looks like we are both going to miss out on holidays, was hoping to be in Australia now but not to be, i am sorry about Venice but maybe we might manage to get somewhere. Bassy i don't know if this is your first post on the forum but please feel free to get in touch if you need help or support or just someone to chat to. take care

    Eddie

  • Thanks Eddie xx 

    I hope you’re keeping warm in this cold weather :) I’m in Yorkshire so really cold here at the mo!

    take care of yourself 

  • Hi Bassy i live just north of Doncaster so nice to have someone local to talk too, even though the circumstances are what neither of us would want, take care.

    Eddie