New to the group

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Good afternoon to you all. I have got secondary breast cancer in my lungs and was diagnosed just over 2 years ago. After the initial shock of the cancers return,  I am trying to be as positive as possible. Just some days it is so hard. My grown up children are all very supportive but I feel guilty if I let them see I am feeling a wee bit down. I do not wish to burden them with occasional tears. I am so lucky that I have the most amazing Oncology Unit at our Hospital with a top nursing team and Macmillan nurses. Maybe someone has had the same issue and will be kind enough to let me know how they managed to get rid of the guilt trip

A warm hug to you all from 

Alana in Moray 

  • Hi Alana01, just like to welcome you to our group  that non of us really want to be in. You have come to the right place. Everyone supports each othere. You can cru chat rant and rave and yes we even laugh Smiley . Its hard to except our incurable but treatable diagnosis and it takes time. Yes we feel guilty for putting our families through this ordeal,  but that is how it is. Keep posting and be kind to yourself. If you want to read my profile just press on my picture.  Take care. Oh I'm from Liverpool.  Sending  hugs xx


  • Just read your profile Alana, I was told incurable but treatable while on treatment  not terminal yet, your on treatment.  XX


  • Hi  

    Welcome to the group, it's not a group any of us would choose to be in but we're all friendly and very supportive. I found that I was more emotional earlier on in my diagnosis but from diagnosis to stage 4 was within 4 months for me. It takes time to get your head around being incurable, so I wouldn't give yourself a hard time for feeling emotional, it's understandable. We all get down days, it's to be expected. I'm sure your grown up children wouldn't want you to feel guilty. Everyone will be along to welcome you here and give you support and their experiences. 

    A x

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  • Hi Alana, I'm not sure it's about getting rid of the guilt trip. I think any member of this forum is entitled to down days. For me the hard part is having to rely more and more on my family and friends. As I told one of my care team I am accepting of my prognosis but not the increasing frailty and dependence on others that that brings. I too have grown up children. I am also fortunate to still have both my parents but, in my experience, none of them have found my down days and tears a burden - think of it as a natural human response and a release. My nearest and dearest don't expect me to be the rock I was, I'm sure yours will be equally understanding.

    Best wishes.


  • Thank you so much for answering back, it’s very much appreciated. I love your City and have been a lifelong fan of Liverpool. It’s nice to know there is a place you can turn to when a bit down. I am not all doom and gloom and laugh and enjoy a lot of things. Sadly my beloved horse riding is out of the question at present but I hope that one day I will b able to enjoy it once more. 

  • Thank you, your kind words are much appreciated. I am glad I got myself to post on this thread. Take care 

    hug from Alana 

  • You are very kind to have sent a reply. Honestly I am feeling much better than before I took the plunge to post. 

    warm hug from Alana in Dufftown 

  • Hi , just read your post. To be honest I dip I  and out of this group and have never as far as i can remember  shared my story.  I have secondary breast cancer in my lungs and spine. I was diagnosed  correctly ( another story) March 2021. Have been on letrozol and imbrance  since then and to date doing well.  At the beginning  I was devastated  and thought  I wouldn't  have long. However  I'm still here  and living  a very normal  life except  for appointments  and  I am doing everything I used to do so I hope this give you hope.  The guilt I feel is I never had chemo when I was originally  diagnosed with breast  cancer as my oncologist  at that time ,(2011) said in her opinion  and statistics  show I would not benefit  from it.  Maybe I should have challenged  this.  Who knows.  It's not easy bit you settle into a routine.   I hope this helps.

  • Hi Alana, Welcome to the Group. Sometimes people lurk in the background for a bit before posting and then think, why didn't I post before now! That's what I did. Now you've decided to post you should get the benefit of Group at first hand.

    i live in Bishopbriggs, East Dunbartonshire about 12-15 miles from Glasgow. It's freezing here today but dry! I have a different type of cancer to you but a lot of things that happen with one type, will be similar to another. I'm sure someone here will have experienced what you are going through. I am lucky also to have an excellent Team. I was pleased to hear you feel better already! Long may it continue, we are all here for one another!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Thank you for your post. I was unable to receive chemo due to a kidney transplant in the late 80th. Thankfully medicine has moved on and the new chemo tablets are truly a gift of life. Hopefully one day not too far away they will find a cure for this awful disease. Take care of yourself and thanks for your reply. 
    hug from Alana