Not long diagnosed and having treatment problems already.

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Hi All,

Firstly, I have to say you guys have really helped me through the bad days dealing with my diagnosis. This is my first post but I've been reading all yours since August. It's helped to know we all have good and bad days, and my big girl knickers have been put on a few times.

I'm not the best at expressing myself or messaging lots but this seems like a good supportive group of people.

Here is a quick run down.

I'm 47 and have a little 5yr old boy (single parent). In 2019 I found a lump BC and had 2 surgery's to remove. Then in August I got the call to say its spread to my bones & lungs. Started on treatment (Ribociclib, denosaub, zoledex and letrozole). 

After first cycle I was neutropenic so dose reduced. Just finished my 3 cycle, had blood test on Monday got a call to say liver isn't looking good, repeat of bloods on Wednesday and they were so bad I've been admitted to hospital. Feeling very scared at the moment. Even though I've been off the Ribociclib for 10 days the LFT results keep getting worse.

Terrified that my liver isn't going yo get better and even if it does then I won't be able to carry on with my treatment plan.

On a positive, I had a lymph node biopsy and it was clear, and the Ultrasound of my abdomen didn't show tumors.

Guess I'm writing this as I'm having a tough day, feel each time I think 'OK I can do this' I get beaten down again.

And I just want to be at home with my little boy.

Sorry for the poor me intro

Nicola

  • Hi Nicola

    I am sorry you have had to come here, though you have come to a very supportive group, in more ways than one.,

    We are all here to support you as we do with everyone else..

    I do not have any answers for you, and yes it is a hard journey we are all on, take a deep breath, you are in the right place, and we have to have faith in our doctors know what they are doing.

    T

    I hope  others come along to welcome you to the group ,the Mind is a terrible thing at times, and we always go to the 

    Darkest place, and why would we not, we are human after all.

    I was just of to my bed, though did not want you to think know one was l here to hear you. 

    You have come here and please, make use of the group, you will get a lot of support, we know how you are feeling.

    xx

  • Hi Nicola (LHD), Welcome to the Group. I'm so pleased after reading posts for a while you decided to Post and introduce yourself. You have managed to find the words just when you needed them and the more you contribute, the easier it will become as you get to know us all here.

    I see you must have posted around 11pm-ish when that is about Ellie's bedtime.unless of course you are in another country! I am a night owl but I'm sure you will get welcomed in the morning by others. 
    I do hope you will be out,of hospital soon and they manage to sort your bloods out! The liver is an amazing organ that can stand up to a lot. I have cirrhosis due to cancer drugs and actually have an appointment at the Liver Clinic this coming week. You will find out there are lots of things they can do these days to help.

    I'm wondering who is looking after your lovely son (love your profile pic) while you are in hospital? I'm sure he will be getting spoiled and rightly so!

    I do hope today is a better day for you!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
    1. You have no need to apologise sweetheart I feel for you .I presume your little boy is being well cared for while you are in hospital.So I would concentrate on yourself while there and rest , build up your strength and let's concentrate on being home with him for Xmas,so you can give him some beautiful memories.my daughter and son are away 16-27th yes I am upset but concentrating on making memories with my grandson even though I am in agony etc.Good luck xxx
  • Hi Nicola. Sorry I can't be any practical help. Your cancer so different to my own. But can be on hand with a hand to hold. As for availability it seems that bedtime routines are well known. Well it appears that way from what Ellie and Annette say. So just so you know I’m available for hand holding anytime from about 3am to 5.30am as my morphine interrupted sleep dictates. 
    Hang in there and be kind to yourself 

    Rojan Handshake 

  • Good morning Nicila, I hope you got some rest last night. Only thing I'll advise is do as the doctors tell you, rest rest and more rest so your ready for Christmas Christmas tree with your little man, he is lovely on your picture. As  for your liver as Annette said they can do alot now a days. It's very hard when your mortality  is being threatened. Just remember you've woke up today, so live your life, your still you not cancer. Be kind to your self. I'm sending hugs and good vibes. Keep us posted on your progress. XX

    Moi

  • Thanks for your kind words Ellie. I am normally the early to bed early to rise person. Usually exhausted by 8pm, but this lying around all day has messed my routine up. And it's given me too much time alone with my head.

    Look forward to getting to know you all better x

  • Morning Annette,

    Thank you for you welcoming words.

    My little boy has been staying with his grandparents (my folks). He is loving being with them. And, I've roped my Dad into setting the scenes for Elf on the shelf, which I think he is secretly enjoying too. X

  • Hi Cathy,

    Sorry your kids are away, even though they are adults I'm sure you miss them terribly.

    Making memories is definitely the most important thing, luckily we got to do the Santa visit last weekend.

    X

  • Thank you Rojan

    Yes, no two stories are the same, but it's good to know that whatever time of the day there is somebody to give some support.

    I'm sorry the medication disrupts your sleep. X

  • Good morning Moi,

    Thank you for you kind words and good vibes.

    • Slept OK, have been up had my cry, got showered. Looked at the hospital breakfast and opted for banana and grapes instead.

    Feeling a bit more positive now x