Hello, life is really unfair

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  1. This all started 2 years ago, l had a gastric sleeve done, so that l could lose weight and have an operation on my spine, as it was fused due to an undiagnosed fracture. Operation went well, l had a follow up appointment with my doctor.  I had been feeling a little ill but had, had a nasty headache. 
  2. Well fast forward the docs appt, l was rushed to hospital with sepsis,  e-coli and a servere kidney infection, and a month in hospital.  I had so many scans, blood tests etc but eventually l was allowed home. 
  3. A week later on my daughters 14th birthday l had the first call, while looking at your scans we can see some cancer in your womb, blow number one, 2nd one was a few days later, there were some shadows on my left lung. Operation for the womb cancer was a total hysterectomy and everything  removed, operation number 2, l had 2/3rds of my left lung removed which has left me breathless.
  4. Then the final call, although your gall bladder hasnt worked for years there is some activity going on So another operation needed, gall bladder removed, some liver removed.  Then of course the results, cancer was in the gall bladder and not contained but liver was ok. 
  5. I had chemo by tablet form, side affects were awful and got worse with each round. Then it changed to chemotherapy through a drip which took all day, and left me feeling very sleepy Sleeping after a few sessions of this we had a follow up appointment with my consultant. 
  6. Didnt think  things could get any worse, but we were then informed that none of the chemo had worked at all, there was nothing more to be done.  So 4 months ago, we were given the news that l may have 6 months if lm lucky, l am now on end of life, theres been so many tears, bucket list done, memory boxes done, funeral paid for. No-one can believe how my life is turning out. I hope l will be here in November for my birthday, lm going through my journey bit by bit.  I wasnt scared of dying but now its coming closer and closer and l am getting more and more scared. 
  • Hello Lesleysmum. So sorry to read your sad message. Yes, I think most of us can say, ‘why me.’ And we never get an answer. 
    it’s good that you have put things in place especially the memory box Blush trust as time goes on you will find some peace. 
    sending love and hugs to you and your daughter 

    Judy xxx

  • Hi Lesleysmum,

    It's extremely difficult trying to know what to say to you. You have been through so much, and sound as though you have taken everything they've thrown at you in your stride! You are one gutsy woman! It's great that you have also managed to do all of the practical things, which are so painful emotionally, I've done some similar things.

    Your family and friend will I'm sure be extremely proud of you, try to lean on them. I sincerely hope that you get to your next birthday in November.

    Love and Respect Pray Heart Helen 

    Helen 
  • Hi Lesleysmum, you have really been through  alot. I hope you make your birthday and find some piece. Do keep posting and feel free to let of steam here. Like you I have put things in place, which is one thing we don't need to think about. Have you tried a little meditation it can help. Take care xx

    Moi

  • Morning Judy, l think the thing that hit me was that each time cancer was seen, we always got told, its good we have caught it early.  But then the cancer had spread, straight to stage 4, worst type of cancer. Thinking one minute that its fine to then be told its terminal and you have 6 months at the most. My husband was so shocked. I have gone through alot of websites, and had counselling,  which have helped with my issues.  

  • I have always tried to be organised, but doing the memory boxes has really brought home to me that l am definitely in the end of life. I keep dreaming that Steve my husband comes downstairs and l have died during the night, then l keep worring about Steve and Lesleys reaction.  It seems that atm l would prefer to die at home.  Although l do have the hospice as an alternative 

  • Thanks Moi2. I did have some from the  Hospice which did help. I feel angry now, as although l am used to the idea ,  with what was dont worry, we have caught it early enough,  now is there isnt anything else that we can do, but to make you comfortable. 

  • I quit understand, after surgery I was told they got all the cancer, no treatment needed 12 months later scan showed it was back and gone walk about to various places incurable but treatable. I was so angry and frightened, but I'm stable, I suppose one of the lucky one's. I really feel for you and uour family. Be kind to yourself.  Sending big hugs and good vibes xx

    Moi

  • That is so cruel and devastating to deal with, bless you. You will be taken care of.

    Sending love and hugs xxx

    Judy Heart

  • Hi Lesley

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. Write it all down here I think it might help a little to offload here although I have no personal experience my sister in law went through something similar. Kept going to doctors with groin pain. They kept fobbing her off saying it was from overdoing it at the gym. Eventually it was investigated. She had bone cancer and by then it had spread to her lungs and liver . She had 6 months from diagnosis. We were all so angry for her, not that an earlier diagnosis would have helped in her situation really but at least we would have known that her concerns had been taken seriously. 
    I’m sending hugs to you and holding your hand as you face these next few months. 
    Jac x

  • Hi Lesleysmum

    So sorry to read your message, you have been through so much and yet you have found the strength to do what you need to do, I really hope you have the best birthday in November and have the best celebration balloons cake and all the trimmings above all make it a happy fun filled celebration. 

    Please continue to post here if you can, we are here to support you all you need.

    Sending you and your family hugs and prayers

    Donna