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Hi Folks,

Im 48 years old and in May I was diagnosed with Stage 4 stomach cancer. 

Its been a weird, tough journey so far.

Im on cycle 4 of 6 of the chemo... ups and downs with side effects. Some very bad days, some good days. 

My wife is an incredible support, I honestly dont know what I would do without her. My kids are 16 and 13.

The hardest part about all of this is knowing that at some point, much sooner than I ever would have thought, I will be leaving them. 

Ive never really been an overly emotional person.... though these days it's rare for a day to pass without crying. Sometimes for no reason at all (I blame the chemo :) ). 

Im not depressed, I just wildly fluctuate between upbeat and positive and... well.. crying. 

The fatigue is hard too... sooooo tired, far too much of the time. 

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and I hope anyone reading this is doing as well as they possibly can be in the situation. 

  • Hi Austin

    Welcome, to the club, and we all have the same thing, in common, we all have incurable cancer.

    It is not a club, any one would join, t threw choice, though it has happened.

    All here to support each other, in good times and bad, high's and low'

    You can scream, rant, cry, laugh, and moan, we have all done it, and still do at times.

    1. Great bunch of people and we do support each and everyone, we hold you up, when you may start to crumble and we listen.
    2. We do try to protect our nearest and dearest, though here you can just be you.  when i was diagnosed, never thought i would be this far down the road, but i am , though running a lot more slower.

    Its  early days for you, and what you are feeling, is part of this journey.

    Others will come in to welcome you, please use or go on any of the threads, if you wish, they are for  every one.

    Sorry about my e mail struggling at times, with my eyes.


  • Thanks Ellie. Definately not a club I would ever have wanted to join. But we are where we are. 

    Thanks for the kind words. 

  • I am glad you found us, you will get a lot  of support, and we all need it, at certain times.

    We also like to have a laugh and joke, our lives are not the ones, we would have chosen, though it is a  life, and have to make the most it.

    If you need to ask anything,  please do, as some one might have the answer as we all have, different cancer's talk about variety is the spice of life.

    I am  pleased you found us, though wish it was different  situation.

  • Austin if you need to you can click  if you wish to know.

    on any ones avatar, that gives you their profile, and you can see their journey

    For me its not over till the fat lady sing, and this fat lady, is not signing any time soon.x

  • Hi Austin. Glad you have reached out to us. As Ellie has said, you will get lots of support from us all. We know exactly where you’re at! I started off delving into a hole and not wanting to pop my head out. But nearly 12 months on having come through every emotion possible (and still doing so) I’m back enjoying what my topsy turvy life offers. 
    Keep on sharing. We are here to support you in anyway we can. We are all in the same journey. 
    Judy xx

  • Thanks Judy. Very kind. 

  • Hi AustinT

    Welcome to the club none of us wanted to join, but I'm glad I joined, like you I've been through the mill with how I feel and chemotherapy seemed to magnify things but somehow you get through. You will get through the chemotherapy and things will level out. Fatigue is the worst part so rest when you need to, I catnapped loads when I was having chemotherapy not so bad now on the immunotherapy but I still get tired. 

    Take things one day at a time, try and focus on good things for the day but if you feel like a cry that's ok, it helps even if you think it doesn't. Plan to do happy things with your wife and children, good memories give you good things to talk about when you don't have the energy to do anything physical.

    Take care, have fun life is not all about the cancer, that only happens if you let it.

    Take care Donna

  • Hi Austin,

    I got my diagnosis in the middle of June and have now had 3 cycles of CAPOX with immunotherapy. 

    Booked in for a ct scan next week to see how my treatment is doing. I've got Oesophageal cancer and swallowing solid food was all but impossible, however since my last round of chemo things have improved somewhat.

    So I'm hoping that this stuff they are putting into me is having the desired effect, and hopefully its giving me more time to spend with my family.

    I'm just trying to kick the can a bit further down the road.

    The forums are a great source of encourgement to me.

    Good luck with your treament,-

    wishing you well,


  • Hi  

    Welcome to the incurables group. No one would choose to join but you are very welcome. I'm sorry to hear that life is tough at the moment. I have had chemo as well, with a week of radio in the middle of it. I found it all tough going as well. It may be worth asking your specialist nurse for a referral for counselling. I found it very helpful and was good for stabilising my mood. If you would like to read my story, my profile is there. Just click on my username to read. When you feel up to it it's a good idea to write a profile yourself. Just click on your own username then profile and don't forget to save. I found even by writing it, it was a bit therapeutic. 

    Anyway, you'll get lots of friendly supportive replies, it's a lovely group. There are threads for different hobbies and the morning chat is always full of banter. We find a bit of dark humour the best sort, it keeps us going. Hope you get good results from your treatment.

    A x

    What is a Community Champion?

    I am a Macmillan volunteer. 

    Macmillan Support Helpline

    0808 808 00 00 

    7 days a week between 8am -8pm

  • Hello new friend. 
    Sorry you’re having such a tough time.  I really do hope you find the support you need from being a member of our rather undesirable club. 
    Ive just had a few days in hospital. I was struggling big time breathing with the secondaries in my lungs and thoracic lymph nodes. 
    I was on a ward of 4 incurable ladies of different cancers. The medical team worked some magic and have sent me home on new steroids. The best meds though was from my ward mates. You’d have thought we were at a hen party rather than on a cancer ward. The laughter we shared being a great tonic. So try if you can to remember to find room to laugh. 
    I celebrated coming home today by ordering the new IPhone on a 3 year contract. I’m looking forward to a free upgrade in 3 years time. Positive thinking egh and as Ellie put it I’m not ready for the Fat Lady yet. 
    Keep well and keep posting.