Joined today 10/1/23

Good morning!

decided at last to join this group after procrastinating for weeks. It’s not really a group I had ever wanted to join - does anyone? But I realise I need the support. I mean, who else gets these feelings?

I heard those words “incurable but treatable” and kind of stopped listening at that point. Was he mad? I’m only 65! I’ve got too much life in me to be “incurable”. I want to live another 20 years. My mum’s only been gone 5 years. It seems so unfair. I’ve lived healthily - I fill my life with good things and make the most of it. I love others - I serve - I’ve gone on learning. Why?

sorry, needed to rant a bit - I will stop now. Please tell me how you’ve coped. I’ll read other threads and profiles. 
thank you for just listening 

bev xxx

  • Hi Bev sorry you've had to join this group, but we are very supportive, friendly caring  people. We all no from experience what you are going through. I've read your profile and your cancer is very similar to mine, except mine started as bowel cancer. Different treatment I'm on immunotherapy Nivobulum.  Press my name and you'll see my profile. It's hard to except our prognosis,  very emotional, if you needle to cry then cry anger scream and shout. Ring macmillan help line for practical advice, they will also listen to your husband as well. Keep posting and the support will flood in. Be kind to yourself.  Sending hugs xx


  • Hi  welcome to the group, but sorry you find yourself here. I think I went through a process similar to grief when I was given my incurable diagnoses. I mourned for the life that I had before cancer. I got angry, and extremely scared, but hid this from my loved ones. To them I was coping well, but inside I wasn't. Looking back now, i should of had counselling, and it is something I may do in the future. So watched changed? Just like grief, it was acceptance. Accepting that this is my life now. Yes it is different than the life I had, but it is still a good life. And like grief, you never get over it, you just adjust, learn to live with it. 

    Take one day at a time. Take all the support you can, from friends and family, and here on the online community. x


    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

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  • Hi sorry you have had to join, though you have found a good support group in everyone here.

    I would not have got this far if not for the people here that help in every way, when needed, and we all need support along the way, that's for sure.

    You can moan, scream, rant, cry we have all done it, so know how you maybe filling.

    Nice to meet you, though wish it had been in a different situation, that's for sure, 



  • Hi GreenCliffLady

    So sorry you find yourself here. It's a terrible thing to get your head around but eventually you will come to accept & get on with the here and now. I hope you find this group a good support for any anxiety issues. Sometimes it just helps reading how others are dealing with their emotions day to day and knowing you're not alone. xx

  • You will get loads of support in this group it's a roller coaster some days you just want to give up but don't you will have good days take one day at a time and it's ok not to be ok on a bad day I have been down so many times I just keep fighting on huge hugs xxx

  • Please tell me how you’ve coped.

    Hi Bev, good decision to join the forum and post! Although it's a shame we're here.  You don't say how long ago the "incurable but treatable" conversation was, but I found time was a great help.  Time to come to terms with it, even though I accepted it immediately (or did I?!).   We have all felt like that and we all come on here to rant to the group from time to time.  

    PS - if a near duplicate post to this appears, it's because the first one failed the posting rules - because I used a banned word!  I don't know why it's banned because it's not dodgy or indicative of anything sinister going on, but there you go!

  • Good morning GreenCliffLady.

    You came to the right group. We are all very supportive of each and we all understand how you feel. We all need a rant and it is good for you to get it out as it can help you sort yourself out. If you click on my avatar you can see my story so far. It's all a shock to begin with but you will in to e understand your situation. Please don't Google anything looking for the answer, the information is all to often out of date and not accurate, it will only make you feel worse. Please do take care of yourself both mentally and physically. You can come to this forum as often as you like to rant, there is always some who will listen and give good advice.

    You might like to tell us a bit about your story so far you can do this in you profile, knowing what type of cancer you have would help us respond to your questions better and others with the same cancer will give more detail about the process etc. 

    In the meantime sending you a big hug xxxDonna

  • Hiya  Bev.

    Just clicked on your avatar, what a journey you've had so far I can see why you needed a rant.


  • Hello Bev,

    Yes, it's rubbish getting to grips with all this, but we do, in our own fashion, somehow manage it. Complete with all the ups, downs, highs lows and everything inbetween.

    I too have led a healthy life, but although that reduces your risks it can't do anything about things like genetics and the environment. When they told me I didn't think 'Why me'. I thought 'Why not me?'

    So the only advice I can offer is to not waste your time and energy speculating why. Just get all the practical stuff, wills, funeral etc. out of the way and in a box. Then get down to making every day count and making good memories- for yourself and all those around you. Hugs of course are in order. Love from Rainie xxx

  • That last paragraph is where I am at the moment Rainieday. Upgraded my will,sorted my pension fund,insurance, and general paperwork for my wife. If she is straight,I am happy. The main one ,like you, is I don’t waste time thinking about things I cannot change. I live now. And where possible,I smile and stay positive. It’s turned me into a better bloke.