Joined today 10/1/23

Sorry you find yourself here. When I was first told I had a secondary, they dropped it out of the blue on a phone call as a “oh and by the way”. I think my initial anger over that stopped me from dropping too far down the rabbit hole. All you can do is continue doing what you say you do - fill your life with good things, make the most of it, keep on learning. A few months into this journey, it fades into the background for me quite a lot of the time. I live by the sea, and spend a lot of time by the water. When intrusive thoughts occur, I imagine myself standing at the water’s edge, letting the waves carry them away. It’s surprisingly effective for me. I am not sure it’s possible to be quite who I was before cancer reared its ugly head but I will try my best. Focus on the treatable bit, not the incurable bit, and don’t look for reasons why it has happened, it's not your fault. 

Hi GreenCliffLady , welcome to the club nobody wants to join, sorry to have to meet you here I'd much rather it was elsewhere. We are a varied bunch with one thing in common - incurable cancer. We do have another thing in common, we all support each other to the very best level we can.

When I was reading your questions I was thinking that your thoughts about why etc are so similar to how I felt. I was diagnosed in March 2015 with a bone marrow cancer and yet here I am, almost 8 years later. I have treatment every week by self injecting. I'm so lucky, I was 57 at the time and thought I wouldn't make my 60th birthday yet in 3 months I'll be 65. About 3 months after my diagnosis I was given a further diagnosis of severe spinal stenosis and 6 months later I had to become a wheelchair user. I was in pieces, my future plans were ripped apart, and I had to have counselling. 

There are others in the group who have also survived as long and more. I hope I'm giving you a little hope when I say that, and more treatments are being discovered that give more chances and hope for extending life further.

So here's hoping to chat more in the coming days and weeks Bev.

Take care and stay safe

Tvman 

Yes welcome. GreenCliffLady. We all seem to share the same way of thinking,pretty much. Personally I have found the positives,the smile,the calmness ,all work pretty much. There’s no time to waste with negativity. I am just 57,and how I wish I could be here another 20 years. But I won’t. I’ll be as well as I can whilst I am here though! 

and that’s ( in my opinion) the way to start dealing with it. Calmness. I do hope you are able to do that GreenCliffLady. X