Hello to all,
I just had my final diagnosis on Friday following a pet scan at Maidstone Hospital. I have been having test after test for three months and have not begun any treatment yet. I had a phone call yesterday to say that my chemo would be starting within a couple of weeks. I have not been able to tell anyone, as my daughter is in Thailand and has been trying to get home for over a year. I don't want to tell her on Facetime, so am waiting until I have no choice. If I tell anyone else, they may let it slip on Facebook, though I rarely use it myself. The only time I've cried is when my daughter said I must go to visit her in Thailand, if not this Christmas, then the next. I held it together until we had signed off, and then I I wondered if I would make it that far. I have a plan to tell her, but she's currently on an island and won't be heading back to her home in Chiang Mai for another three weeks. I have a friend who is a counsellor in Chiang Mai and I plan to ask him to be with her when he breaks the news. It's the kindest way I know. I suppose I also don't want people treating me any differently. I worry about that. I have a tumour in my right lung and palliative care is all they can do for me now. My son lives in Norfolk and I know if I tell him. he will probably freak out, throw his job up in the air and come rushing home, so I plan to tell his older sister first and then maybe we can tell him together. I live on my own and am getting anxious about how I will cope with the chemotherapy when the time comes. The nights are the hardest, as I find breathing difficult when I lie down. Thanks for reading. Sorry it's so long-winded. The other thing is that apart from my son and daughter, I have no other family, so there will be no one there to support them when I've gone.
I have never joined an online group before, so a bit nervous.
