Feeling like it's the end

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Had a worlwind couple of months. So many things have happened. I had a catheter fitted because I couldn't wee and thought the tumour had grown over the opening. After a few days the catheter killed and I had what felt like a water infection.  After a lot of messing around in hospital the catheter was taken out and I went home with water coming through and it continued okay for a day then today it is not coming through as much.  On top of that the other opening for my bowels is dodgy, Got the feeling I needed to go but nothing came.  So what next. it was thought the catheter hurt because the tumour was pushing it.  So near what will be my last Christmas I don't want to be in hospital.  On top of that because of degenerative changes with the cancer making it worse my head is dropping  forward. When I get a bit tired it is very hard to hold it up.  I am praying I manage to wee and poo tonight. Don't like being admitted on a weekend as not enough people around and everything is rushed.  Honestly if a pill was available to  put me to sleep I would take it as all I can see is more pain and anxiety. This tumour is horrendous.

JKG

  • Hi Spanglydandy

    Love your name. Sorry you feel so bad. Mine was just how I felt when at my lowest but i recovered enough to want to carry on    I can't imagine what your situation is like but hope the staff and yourself can find a way of making you more comfortable.  I still think the the time will come when I would join you but I'm not there yet.

    Jkg 

  • Hi Jkg I have just been wondering how you have been since Christmas and what decision you made about whether to try the cannabis you were offered or not.

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!