The long middle

I saw this in another forum and t's well worth a read.

Great article!  Thanks so much for sharing.

What amazing linguistic ability, amazing descriptors and lots of big words!

I used to read that publication, but I was driven away by the ads and the most frustrating invitation-to-donate bottom banner I have ever encountered!

I am a subscriber so it’s painless except for some of the journalism. 

Interesting, thank you. "chronically terminal" a nice turn of phrase. Think I might use it rather than my usual "dying (but we all are)" in response to "how're you doing?"

I have no idea whether or not my physical decline is a result of the cancer, the meds or my COPD. Probably all three  -  but apparently I look well!!

Good luck all! Dave.

Sadly I do think our cancer treatments exacerbate underlying conditions and / or cause similar symptoms. Probably all 3 is a good answer. I liked how the lady in the article assesses how she is when she wakes up. I am in better health now but went through a long period when that was me. 

Hello Coddfish & everyone,

I'm new to this forum, got the news in November. I also found this article to be just about the most insightful thing I've seen about this stage of my journey. Everyone says "you look great" and only you know how you swing between darkness and light. The long middle just captures perfectly how it feels, for me anyway. A wise woman said to me this week to live as though I would live forever while knowing I may not be here tomorrow (any more than anyone else). 

This a very well articulated article. I had rather terminal bowel cancer (12 -18 months) until recently I was bale to have a successful operation. I am not cured but would hopefully have much longer time frame.

So I am new to this long middle situation. I found it is actually harder than terminal. Because there is uncertainty on everything again- how long do I have, if/ when or where is the mets going to pop up? The road ahead is a lot more foggy. Before I definitely will not be back to work, but now I am thinking I can’t just sit at home for years without knowing the actual number of years. Also before the worst already happened, there is nothing new that will upset me - just the inevitable progression. I don’t waste my time wonder about cancer but more focus on living. Now I have something to lose. I could be in complete remission, I could have a few mets that is surgically resectable or I could have mets grow in places that is chemo only. There is no control over this and I am just trying to accept this and concentrate to live my life. It is hard work! 

Any tips on how to mentally navigate this new situation? 

Stella x

Hi Stella2020,

A few things have helped me, including psychotherapy, gratitude journal, Pilates and Breathwork. Catching myself "awfulising" and consciously reminding myself that it's not happening today.

I'm a great believer in the mind/body interaction and I downloaded the free App, Insight Timer, where I came across Pat Divilly who regularly posts short meditations.  I meditate once day, with different teachers on the App. 

Pat's "Stimulating the Vagus nerve" is my current favourite as I can actually see my stress levels coming down on my Garmin, something I had struggled with since my initial diagnosis.

I doubt there's anything above that you didn't know but this is what's helping me with the over-thinking!

I think that’s very wise advice. 

I have been in the long middle since 2022. Initially, I thought I might have up to a couple of years, then had issues with treatment that I thought would mean my timeline would accelerate. Then finding the treatment had worked alongside almost killing me gave me an incentive to recover as best I could. It’s been a long hard slog and I am fortunate to have not needed treatment since. So technically incurable as it could pop back anywhere (cancer had spread from breast to liver and cancer cells have been in my blood stream). I try not to think about it except around the time of my scans.