Moving on

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Hi everyone its been nearly a month since I got thi

s awful diagnosis, alot has happened and chemo starts tomorrow. I'm not overly worried by this apart from I feel like it's not the right thing but that's for another day, what I!m slightly struggling with is how I live with this.

I keep feeling like I should be running marathons, climbing mountains and all the other things people seem to think you should do. In reality I can barely walk round the local shop and by midday I'm ready for bed.

  • Hi Sweet21Pea,  everything you have written will ring a bell with most of us, and a diagnosis like ours really needs us to search our souls, to not let this awful disease control our lives, it can take a little time to accept our new lives, and come to terms with what we still can do, and you will too, we find the strength to move on, and make what we can of the new us.

    I used to go on 6 hour walks just before my diagnosis,  now  its 15 minutes on a good day, but those few minutes open up so many wonderful opportunities,  so focus on what you can do and show your cancer you still have a life to live, my best wishes with your chemotherapy, and for the best results possible.

    Eddie xx 

  • Hi Sweet21Pea,

    It’s all about pacing. I’m sure this website will have some resources on how to manage your energy levels. One of the hardest things for me was accepting that everyday things will get more difficult to do. I now spread the things I would do in a day over a week.

    If you can, find something you can draw energy from. For me it’s coaching women’s rugby, which I even managed to do through chemotherapy. It takes a lot of effort to plan and deliver the training sessions but I always return feeling energised by the team's effort and commitment.

    I also, occasionally, go a bit OTT - such as going clubbing with the team - but in the full knowledge that there will be a price to pay and because I refuse to allow this disease to define me!

    Rest when you feel you need to but live life as normally as possible.

    All the very best.

    Maninbath

  • Thanks Eddiel that's so lovely it made me cry I was reading this waiting for my prescription in Tesco. Hope your OK sending hugs.

  • Hi Sweet21Pea,  you are very welcome, I am doing ok, will be starting a new treatment very soon, probably chemotherapy, but need to speak to my cardiologist first 

    I also cry at some awkward moments, but it doesn't bother me anymore, I always feel better for it and it helps me get through the down times, thank you for the hugs 

    love Eddie xx 

  • Hello Sweetpea

    I know exactly how you’re feeling! I too felt that having cancer and treatment should be just like it’s portrayed on tv or social media either by celebrities or anyone else but boy oh boy it is not. I first thought “ I must be doing it wrong “ lolll then realised just like most things via media networks it’s mostly smoke and mirrors, it’s all the positive super duper stuff when in reality it’s hard, it’s damn hard. Before my diagnosis I ran I gymed I swam and I couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes! But that’s all gone now due to a plethora of different reasons ( all cancer and treatment related) but as others have said it’s all about learning to live a new life , it’s not a worse life it’s just a different one. Look for what you can do and don’t dwell on what you can no longer do,it’s the small wins that will make you smile :o) I do not want to climb Everest or sky dive or swim with dolphins I don’t live everyday like it’s my last I live everyday because I’m here that day and do what I want, a pyjama day, a walk with the dog, a movie day , a visit from friends or cook for the family! Whatever I want to do, then I remind myself at what I done that day and say to myself good job! Yes even a doing nothing pyjama day, good job Nickkie you did nothing today lol x change is scary,gosh I hate change but in this circumstance change is needed and changing can help! X  good luck with everything and just keep on keeping on x x 

  • Thank you Hnickkie

    What a lovely post! I so agree with you. 

    hugs

    Kate

  • Hi Sweet21Pea, I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Everyone has said what I was thinking except, forget the year thing, no one knows when we are going to die, even the professionals. I just wanted you to know that lots of us here have outlived our prognosis and by years, not weeks or months. We may be incurable but if we are offered treatment, there is a good chance it may work, otherwise they would not offer it at all because it costs so much!

    Good luck with your chemo, it is your lifeline and hopefully it will work for you!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Such a lovely message this. Yes, I have met some super fit people since my diagnosis and they were in mega shock post diagnosis (even more than me, which is quite something because I was super shocked to be told I was stage 4 - well, once I had worked out what hat meant).

    I'm definitely not running marathons. I did do couch to 5K to rebuild my body after a massie op in Dec 2020. I was not exactly flying along. My partner jokes that I was actually more walking than running. Still, I did it.

    Not now, though. Sofa days gallore at the moment. And lots of David Attenborough and Repair Shop programmes, even though I'm not in the target audience, I don't think.

    Best wishes to you both.

    CLG03...
  • Hi Sweet21pea I have read this post and it inspires me which is good .  It is an everyday battle about what one should and shouldn't do . I loved maninbath saying how he plans and also going out clubbing , I suppose one just has to go with how they feel at the time and throw caution to the wind . All the Best Minmax 

  • Thanks Minmax since righting this post I had  my first treatment, unfortunately I had an extreme reaction and had a few days in hospital. However this really helped because it is exactly that you do what you want to get through the day, it doesn't matter if thats sleep all day or going out and about with friends.

    Sending hugs.