Feeling so low

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I have secondary breast cancer to my bones and Lupus. Having a bad day mood very low and tearful. I usually put on my happy face but can't do that today. I never get a break recently fell and broke my hand and damaged my face. Also my sister in law had a bad stroke.

Nothing happy ever seems to happen.

I live on my own with my wee dog.

Sometimes I would just like a hug and not be told I'm brave or I look great.

Also I don't feel supported by medical staff.

Only see oncology team after my scan for result inbetween I just have to get on with it.

I've not had one of them ask how my pain is.

Just feel cast adrift at times.

 Does anyone else feel like that after a secondary breast cancer diagnosis.

I'm an ex nurse and always supporting other people with their problems but don't feel I get much support back..

I'm the 5th member of my family with cancer and nursed my Mum until she passed away.

Today has just been a bit overwhelming but tomorrow another day.

We all keep going somehow.


  • Hi  I no how you feeling as I live alone and also have lost my mam and 4 sisters to cancer. I dont see anyone but my oncologist every couple months or after a scan. I'm quite happy about that as I no they not worried about me . I can also understand that a hug every now and again would be wonderful as I don't get that either. I'm sorry to hear you fell and hurt your hand and face . Hopefully with the sun finally starting to shine it will lift your spirits and you can enjoy walking your little dog. Sending you a virual hug take care .bev xx

  • Hi Loopie, feeling down is normal for us, wether we live alone or not, we are the only one's who can overcome it, even if it's for a limited time, I have bone cancer and Lupus as part of my problems, so just for you great big virtual hugs and kisses, xxxxx, and a tickle on the tummy for your wee dog.

  • Hi Luppie

    Sorry to read you're going through a low patch at the moment. I too live alone (I have a husband but we live separately) with my dog, and don't see anyone for days at a time, unless I go out. It is isolating! Do you have a drop in centre of some sort nearby, that you can visit? i drive 35 miles to my nearest one, but it is worth the effort, and is a place I can 'offload' when I'm feeling low. We do not have hospices where I live, but I gather from others on this forum that they offer lots of support to people, not just those needing end of life care.

    If going out is a problem, I understand that Macmillan have a 'buddy' service, where you are paired up with someone who you can keep in contact with by phone. 

    I too haven't felt well-supported by the medical professionals whilst going through this cancer thing. I guess it's a sign of the NHS being under strain! Luckily, I do have a couple of experienced and compassionate GP's, which makes a big difference.

    I am looking for a dog-walking group that I can join in with, so that I can meet some new people and not feel so lonely. It does take an effort, reaching out, but it is important that you do get some human contact in your day! When you are feeling low, the hardest thing, I find, is to get out and do something about it. 

    I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful replies to your post. Keep posting! There's always someone on here who will respond. I hope you are feeling better today.

    Sending a hug!


  • Thank you for the reply.

    Hopefully today will be a better day.

    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of family to cancer.

    The sun is out at the moment so once I'm organised I will take Fern a walk.

    Take care x

  • Hi its good to chat with you and thank you for replying.

    I am just getting myself organised to walk Fern.

    She helps get me out.

    It's a roller coaster some days emotionally. 

    I've come through a lot in life so I will carry on as best I can.

    Doreen x

  • Thanks for reply.

    I push myself to go out most days but it's exhausting due to Lupus and cancer fatigue.

    Having my dog helps.

    I do meet friends for coffee so I don't isolate myself.

    I phone Mcmillan as and when I need to.

    There is a Maggies centre here in Scotland but too far to travel to.

    Glad you are going to a centre as we all need the interaction with people.

    Take care x

  • I'm in Scotland too....a very sparsely populated area, so I have to travel a very long way to get to civilisation! It does make dealing with hospital visits that much harder, and there is a noticeable lack of community support, compared with those living in towns or cities. I think the waiting lists for treatment here in Scotland are shorter, but there is a lack of choice, and definitely a lack of expertise. Still, I'm glad I'm living here! 

    I've just been on the beach for a windy walk with my dog, Candy. You are right, having a dog certainly makes you get up and go out! I wouldn't get as much exercise without her.

    Give your Fern a pat from me!


  • Ho girl's it's sad to hear, that you live so remote from help, it's shouldn't matter where you live we all should have good access and help.

  • Hi Lupie

    Massive hugs from me. You are not alone.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down.  Hopefully it will pass and you'll get a couple of good days soon.

    I know what you mean about feeling abandoned.

    I've recently come out of hospital after a week long stay and have had no medical people phoning me ro see how I'm coping (not very well i have to say)

    I have a patlrtner who is usually loving and caring, but since ive come homa hes been a bit nasty (verbally) at times and I feel resentment pouring off him in waves.

    I try not to ask him too many times for things but it's difficult as I have zero energy and am in extreme pain.

    It's good we have this place to come to, even if it is only virtual cx 

  • Hi Harebell, sorry to see the problems your having after leaving hospital, there's no excuse for being nasty, it's not your fault your not well.

    Your OH need's to give his head a shake, big hugs to you.