Hi everyone
I haven’t logged on for a while as I’ve been trying to catch up with friends and family before my treatment starts. I had my blood test yesterday, and spoke to the unit where I will have my treatment. I honestly can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m really hoping they ring me today to tell me I can’t start tomorrow. The more living I’ve done over the past month, the less I want to start. I’m sure I can’t be the only person to have felt like this. I’m working today in the hope that I will “snap out of it”!
Hi Jool63 and Candysmum, I posted earlier before you had made your decision and didn't want to say anything regarding the choice you had to make, I am on HT, last injection in 3 months, but decided last December that would be the end of treatment for me. I fully understand your choice and support your decision, Telling family was for me too, the hardest thing i have had to do for a long time, as on the outside, "not on the inside". i look in good health and pretty independent and still able to do the things i like, Would like to join the new group, if i can help, let me know, as i find it harder to relate many fellow cancer sufferers. Maybe we could start with a thread, take care. Eddie
Thank you so much for your kind response. I really didn’t want to upset anyone, as I know it’s a privilege to have a choice.
Thanks Annette. You’re right of course. We should all be open and honest about these things. I already have a few things planned. I’m starting tomorrow with Marie Curie daffodil appeal. I’ll be shaking my tin, or whatever it is you’re allowed to do these days!
Oh bless you Eddie! I’m sorry that you too have had to make this difficult decision. I’ve been trying to keep up with everyone by reading the daily chitchat, but they’re so long and I’m trying to make the most of my time while I can. There won’t be a new forum as I have already asked and been told that we should use the existing one. I must admit that in some ways I’m glad. Starting a new thread is the way to go I think. We could make sure that we include something in the title which indicates what we’ll be posting? I’ll make sure to check my email now that I found where to switch on notifications!
Thank you sistermoon. I spoke to my GP last night, and told him that if the treatment was something I could take at home, then I would’ve considered it. For me it was the weekly hospital visits and blood tests that made my decision to decline treatment.
Thanks Jools to be honest the decision was made for me, i have had RT so can't go back there, surgery and chemotherapy not possible due to a bad heart and cancer being in nine places, I guess I knew this decision was coming long before I made it, though we all have a little hope something may come along, who knows. I am with you regarding a new thread, My only concern is people who may still benefit from treatment could make the wrong choice, Look forward to the new thread, have you any idea what title to give it.
Eddie
Hello Jules
I felt awful after I'd posted my reply, as I thought it would upset you! And upset other people too.Yes, everyone makes their own decisions, based on their own circumstances. Everybody in this forum responds with respect and empathy, and it is a very supportive group. I hate it when people tell me I'm brave. But I do think you are showing great courage!
I think what has been important for me in the last few months is the sense that I've got control back over my own life. I don't have to fit in with the round of appointments, scans, treatments, or the dreadful waiting times....waiting for phone calls, results, possible side effects....Yes, cancer treatment can take over every aspect of your life, and smother the 'real' you. You are not your cancer!!
I suppose my experience of cancer has been different to many people on here, as I was definitely in the 'incurable' category as soon as mine was found, a stage 4B kidney cancer that had spread everywhere. I was surprised to be offered anything in terms of surgery or treatment! I am even more surprised that I'm still here.
Whilst I still look forward to reading everyone's news when I check into the forums, I have felt increasingly detatched and unable to respond individually to posts. I cannot 'share' in the same way any more. I do feel though that I have 'got to know' people who post regularly as a group of 'friends', and hope to continue to follow their stories, good or bad, and support in any way I can. I hope you do too.
Perhaps we should start a new thread in this forum.
Hugs again
Kate
I’m not sure if I understood part of your comment, the part about your concern. I feel that I should explain my position a bit more. I have been offered the latest treatment in order to extend my life. While I’m not in any hurry to get to my final resting place, I feel that the frequency of appointments would prevent me from having much time to get on with the things I enjoy. My choices were 1) weekly blood tests at my doctors surgery, then treatment all day during weeks one and two. Week three, appointments to see oncology team. This doesn’t take into account me suffering with any side effects.
2) getting on with my life.
The gamble being with choice 1; what if it doesn’t work? With choice 2; cancer progression.
The only guarantee I’ve been given is that at some point I will die from cancer. As none of us know how long we’ve got anyway, I think I’d rather take my chances.
I hope I haven’t upset you, especially as I’m not even sure that I haven’t misunderstood what you posted. I think we should call the new thread “going commando”, just like Kate mentioned! What do you think?
I’m so sorry that your diagnosis projected you straight to stage 4. That must have been a terrible shock. I honestly can’t believe that a lot of what you have written mirrors my own thoughts! We should definitely start a new thread called “going commando”.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
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