Treatment imminent!

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Hi everyone 

I haven’t logged on for a while as I’ve been trying to catch up with friends and family before my treatment starts. I had my blood test yesterday, and spoke to the unit where I will have my treatment. I honestly can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m really hoping they ring me today to tell me I can’t start tomorrow. The more living I’ve done over the past month, the less I want to start. I’m sure I can’t be the only person to have felt like this. I’m working today in the hope that I will “snap out of it”!

  • Hopefully the treatment will give you more living in the long term. Big hugs xxxx

    Sarah 

  • Hi   I think we all go into any treatment with dread, not knowing how it will affect us, the fear of the unknown is a terrible feeling. I don’t know what your new treatment is, or how long you will be on it, but as   has said, try and think of this treatment as a means to longer time to spend with your friends and family in the future. 

    Wishing you lots of luck, please keep us updated x 

    Chelle 

    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

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  • Hi Jools63, isn't it great catching up with family and friends, who wouldn't want to do that for as long as possible, As Chelle says starting treatment is an emotional time which affects us all. take care.

    Eddie

  • Good luck. The sooner treatment starts, the sooner it will work!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi  

    I'm pleased you've had good times with family and friends and can totally understand your reluctance at the start of treatment. It's because we know it's gruelling and makes us feel ill but without it, cancer may get the upper hand. Plan for your good days during treatment and I hope the treatment gives you lots more life to enjoy.

    A x

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  • I’m sorry I haven’t responded to anyone in the past couple of days. I’ve been trying to work out how to tell you that I decided not to go ahead with treatment. My oncologist, and nurses have said that they understand my decision and, will obviously continue to support me. They also said that I have consistently told them that I don’t want any further treatment. The hardest thing has been telling my parents and sister. They are supporting my decision too, even though they would rather I hadn’t made it. I honestly feel that my future is no more uncertain than it was before cancer took over. I won’t pretend not to be a little bit scared that I won’t get as long as I’d like to, but I’m hopeful that whatever happens I will handle it with Grace and dignity. Thank you for your kind words.

  • Hello Jules

    I'm so sorry that you've had to make this decision, and can understand how hard it must have been to tell your family. I too made the same decision, to decline further treatment, back in September last year. I weighed up the pros and cons of continuing with treatment, but reached the conclusion that my life as it is now, treatment free, may not end up being as long as a life with more treatment, but at least I'd have a life without the risk of more serious side effects. i see it as opting for quality of life, not quantity of life.

    Some of my family and friends have accepted my decision, others haven't. All of them can see though that I have been happier and more relaxed, and am living the best life I can, and enjoying it.

    Personally, what I find hard is feeling that I'm a square peg in a round hole when it comes to using these forums. There have been a few posts recently from others who have made the same decision as you and me. Everyone on the forums has been respectful and supportive, but most are determined to continue with any treatments on offer.

    I'm beginning to want a forum group specially for those who have declined treatment, as I think it would be useful to be able to connect with others who have chosen this path. I call it 'going commando'! I think it would allow us to be more open and honest about our feelings, and decisions.

    I wish you well, and hope you are as well as you can be, for as long as possible. I hope you feel able to keep posting.

    Sending virtual hugs

    Kate

  •    you have made the decision which is best for you. Everyone here will support you with your choice, in the same way we would support you through treatment. Stopping treatment is a very personal choice, and is only right that no one would try and influence you either way. Now is the time to do what you enjoy the most, spending time with your family and friends. Hugs to you x 

    Chelle 

    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

    Community Champion badge
  • I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you responded Kate. You’re so right about the need for a different group for those of us who have declined further treatment. I was incredibly nervous about posting this as it almost feels disrespectful. Your words could have been written by me. All along, I’ve said that I want quality over quantity of life. I’ve sacrificed the past year to nothing but treatment, and would rather enjoy life now, rather than put it on hold for a maybe. I’ll look into how we can get a new group set up, so fingers crossed!

  • Hi, I don't think another Group would be the answer, as there are more than enough groups already.what we do need is for people to be open and honest about their feelings, which has happened here!

    I fully understand your decision and you must do whatever you feel is right for you, regardless of others opinion! No one can make this sort of decision lightly and I for one, respect any decision made with all the facts!
    Please continue to post here so we can chat & support you, which is what this Group does best!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!