Pessimistic and no faith!

Hi Marie, we're never intolerant to things we can do without, you should get tested, as there may be cheeses you can eat, look on www.realsimple.com lots of good advice there my friend.

Hooray Helen, is visiting/visited, I do hope she's able to find you the support you need, home visits would be such a big help to you. Is the new pain management treatment not working as well as it was, have the palliative team been able to help 

I'm glad the cushion helps a little, but I'm so sorry to hear how much your struggling, and how difficult the exercises are for you, do the ones you can, when you feel up to it and talk to your physiotherapist, if you think the lymphoedema is stopping you exercising tell someone.

Thanks Marie, there are some nice things to look forward to, and some not so nice, and I am really looking forward to next month, and will deal with what's to come after the wedding/holiday.

I saw Lesley this morning, she's had her two days off and they've got her moving today, her surgeons are very happy with how the operation went, and say they've removed all the cancerous tissue they could see, "germcell tumours of the ovaries," is the diagnosis, and they removed five organs and some of Lesleys small intestine in a 9 and a 1/2 hour operation, with chemotherapy to follow.

Well Dave, doesn't mess about, a new car in no time, are you replacing like for like, there's even talk of some nice weather next week, maybe a day out is on the cards.

I'm ok, as I mentioned I saw Lesley this morning, then met a couple of friends for lunch before a craft group, I was going out for dinner with family later, but I'm tired, I have an appointment with talking therapies, about losing interest in almost everything, and stopping in bed whenever I can, and finally see my neurologist on Sunday, loving my new glasses, not as much as the ladies lol. no plans for the weekend, how about you my friend 

love Eddie xx 

Good morning.

I will look on that cheese website and thank you for the information. 

A busy time of it,! Helen came. She referred me to the lymphoedema specialist team. Waiting on that one. She upped my Zomorph to 30mg. Yes, to be fair I have had increased pain but not sure if it would have been enough to warrant putting up the Zomorph. She said it can go back down if needed so I shall see.

She referred me to the Urgent Care Team, hmm think that's who they are. They came yesterday and did a long, drawn out assessment. They didn't have a pre booked appointment and telephoned to see if they could call round. I said yes on the premise it was going to be short but alas not. He was referred to complete the leg extenders on the sofa but is not sure so has gone away to seek advice. He is also bringing me a walking frame for around the house and getting somebody to fit a bed frame on Thursday.

The cushion does work. I'm so pleased with it I've ordered another. Maybe that's all that was needed huh. 

I went to get my bloods done on Saturday and Picc line didn't work. They had to take blood from the arm. It went well but only because I was laid on the bed. Tired me out.

Hayward phoned me and they want me to try reflexology and head massage. I agreed to try and that starts March.

Wow I'm exhausted telling you all about it and I have chemo today pahhhhh!! 

So glad to hear Lesley is doing well. Give her my love. Wow 9 and half hours!!! She's a warrior!! Long may it last. Please keep me updated.

Sorry to hear you're feeling a little sluggish. Are you worried about how long you're staying in bed? I'm active mentally till about 5 ISH. I lay down believing I'm going to rest until 8 ISH 9 ISH when I go to bed. But generally that doesn't work and I fall asleep lol in a morning, aside from being awake a couple of times in the night, I wake at 8 ISH. I don't want to get up and could carry on sleeping but usually do because of medication times. I think you should go with the flow and do what you feel you want to. Remember you do a truly fantastic job and should not let rest and sleep get to you if that's what needed. 

Listen me! I talk too much. How are you today and what's your news?

Much love x

Hi Marie, St Helen has been, fab, and you now have the lymphoedema team, that's great, and I'm sure between you, you will find the dose of Zomorph that works best for you, can you self regulate your dosage, or would you ask first.

Well Marie, I've not heard of the urgent care team, I  know the community response team does something similar to what help you are getting, but so do occupational health, it's the help that matters, not what it's called, not very inspiring if he can't fit a few leg extenders.

Yippee, a simple cushion has worked wonders, you get yourself another my friend, usually the simplest option is the best one.

 I'm glad they got some blood, though sorry it took so much out of you, and that's wonderful news from Hayward, I've not had a head massage, but reflexology is fab and please don't worry about ticklish feet, I do as well and it's not a problem.

I'm so sorry again my friend, I  forgot it was your chemotherapy day, I hope it went as well as hope.

Well Marie, I'm also happy to stop in bed till 10.00am some days, and have started moving appointments from early morning to later in the day so when I want too, I can, I'm still always tired, but it helps the body and mind, and I've started napping in the evening also, as for being mentally active, my loss of interest in almost everything is concerning, hopefully some warm, sunny weather will help.

I saw my neurologist on Sunday, and I've been discharged, there's nothing they can do, but we move on.

Tough day yesterday, Lesley and I thought it was the right time to tell the kids everything, Mandy already knew, and we'd guessed the others knew something, but thinking and knowing are so different, so lots of tears, Lesleys, specialist nurse came in and said to the girls, we're treating your mum with the intent to cure and we need your help, which helped so much, I thanked her and the team with a couple of cheesecakes today.

Lesley is home, her SN, went through every do and don't, she's happy how Lesley is managing without the catheter, and thinks her stoma can be removed in a week, the physiotherapist was very happy with everything.

I'm ok today Marie, my girls have booked me more massages, and have the trip to Scotland and the Scilly's for the wedding to look forward to, and feel better for telling the kids. Haven't told them about me yet.

love Eddie xx 

Hi Eddie, I've suffered from depression for years, but the countless sessions with motivated therapists have taught me strategies to build up resilience which are helping me now. I remember I had to cut a hedge with an actual deadline and I was slumped in my armchair, more or less oblivious to everyone and everything around me. I got up eventually, cut that hedge and felt weirdly calm and proud. Think you mentioned councelling somewhere, keep going! And your trip/holiday will help. If your body is telling you to sleep, do it, if your mind is, try and resist. And no matter what don't take happy pills, they won't help in the long run. Wishing you a really pleasant evening.

Hi MarieT, sorry I jumped in on a dialogue, still new to this and somewhat impulsive. All the same, hope they soon get your dose sorted and all the best

Hi Patrick,  firstly your very welcome to join Marie and I on this  thread anytime, and I'm so sorry to hear about your battles with depression, though it's so good to hear you are holding your own against it now.

My friend, I am not new to living with a terminal condition, or dying, neither of which controls my life, I am just going through a difficult time due to family, my eldest daughter has just been given the great news she's beaten cancer for the second time, it was a tough journey, she was told it was terminal 6 months ago, only to be told 2 days later her mum is now terminal, and my kids, I have 4, though grown up, are going to lose both mum and dad,

And I am really grateful for your concern, but I am ok, and I believe most of my problems are due to treatment and/or side effects,  a recent change of meds has knocked me back a little, but I'll get through it if not for me, definitely for my family, and 15 years in healthcare has taught me to keep of the happy pills, and strategies to get through the obstacles that are put in our path, counselling being a part of that, I'm aware of the first step theory of motivation, and do find joy in life, as someone else has said, maybe the things we once enjoyed were never really important to us. Take care my friend and don't be a stranger 

Eddie

Thanks for that Eddie, great news about your daughter but it all takes its toll on top of whatever issues you have at the moment. Fully understand your need to rest sometimes. 

One question, sistermoon made book recommendations which she took down a few days later. How can I ask her directly what happened? No PM possible. ?

Hi Patrick, and thank you, are you certain it was sistermoon who deleted the post, if you know what thread it was on, and the date,"roughly, " I will see what I can do.

Eddie 

No, I only know she responded to my post with a couple of her own suggestions but the post is no longer there. Not that important. Have a good day.

Good morning. 

This medication is difficult for me. They have put it up to 30mg because it warranted it a couple of weeks back. I was in more pain. Now, the pain has subsided and I don't feel a need to up it. I just don't want to be a pain lol I guess I'll have to speak to Helen again. Yes, would self regulate but the 30mg are one tablet so no room to break them down. Is that what you meant?

It was no doubt the community response team. I forget now. They are coming tomorrow. It was definitely not occupational health. Yes, I've a funny feeling he's not going to fit these legs. He's saying the existing are going to be difficult to fit into the new but not really saying why. I'll find out more tomorrow. 

My appointment for chemo was at 2 but unfortunately didn't get it till 6. Picc line usual failed, had an x-ray to which proceeded and eventually got done. Home exhausted and didn't feel great following day. Grandson is here and bought me a cold. Plus Dave has it too. Resting up and not doing much but chilling and hobbying. 

I hope you are feeling a little better. Be kind to yourself Eddie you have so much on. I honestly do not believe where you get your strength from. I would be telling you to rest and take it easy. As for getting active again. Small steps loovy!! And, yes, you have the holidays to look forward to. Focus on recovery for them. Something to get excited about. How amazing are you to get fit enough to take such a journey. Awesome!!!

Wow isn't Lesley doing an amazing job too. See, you're all such warriors. Take your time. 

How are you feeling today and what are your plans?

Much love x