Pessimistic and no faith!

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Morning all, hope you are all keeping well.

Had an appointment with my Oncologist yesterday, he authorised another 9 chemo's. But I haven't yet had a scan to see what effect the first round of chemo has had. He said on the basis of questions he's asked  me, my responses and the look of the area concerned is a clear indicator that the chemo has had some effect on the tumour. This is positive news right? But still I am mentally unable to accept it and remain pessimistic to safeguard myself. I believe this is because I have no faith and went through such a bad rollercoaster time when they were trying to find a diagnosis. I mean amongst other mishaps they completed a scan and advised me it wasn't cancer I had a bleed. Yeah right, I actually had a 15 cm tumour, how the hells bells do you miss that on a scan huh!! Now when they give me positive news, I struggle to accept it as I'm so scared they'll give me hope but then only take it away again down the line. Does anybody else feel this way?

Food shopping today and I think a cream cake is in order! Hope you all enjoy your day whatever it is you may be doing. 

  • Marie I would love to take the credit for making cheesecake but a good friend of mine should take a lot of the credit, We bake at her house, mostly to sell to raise money for charity as her boys have special needs,

    Eddie

  • ahhhh that's fab!!! Sounds like you should both take credit for that! 

  • Morning Marie, I'm sure your break has been good for your mind and soul, but how is the body, 

    Eddie

  • We had a lovely time thank you. But yes, I have suffered, quite badly to be fair. Arrived home and was in bed for 7 lol This chemo fatigue is a bummer huh!!!! But no worries today it is my intention to do nothing and hopefully I will recover. How are you? Any plans today? 

  • I am at cardio hospital today though as it's close to oncology, will pop in to hopefully get some answers, if not will talk to PALS then a letter of complaint if needed. Tonight it's valentines night dance at old folks community hall, i am a honorary member as too young to join. Though as there are times i am the only guy there i think they would let me in anyway

    Eddie

  • how did everything go at cardio? Really hope all is good. And did you sort oncology? I hope so!

    awwwww the dance night sounds fab. I hope you went and had a fabulous time. How do you feel after all the dancing? Good I hope!

  • Talked to PALS they will look into it. Cardio not so good, but that was expected, dance was nice though as the only guy i lasted about a hour then home to bed, "alone".

    Eddie

  • I hope pals do something about it and not let it ride. You'll have to keep on at them which is difficult when you're not well. Sorry cardio didn't go well. Do you mind me asking what's wrong? Glad you enjoyed the dance Blush Home alone ha ha!! You didn't get whisked off your feet in a haze of romance then huh  JoyJoy

  • Marie, heart issues ACHD. aortic enlargement, branch blocks, arrhythmia. Angina and functions at 42%.

  • Sorry to hear eddie, how brave you are!!