How to go about asking how much time you have left?

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Its been well over 1 year since diagnosis and I sort of want to know a rough time frame - for how long I have left

I've had first and second line treatment and have recently been put on a 'treatment break', wiith regular scans.

Apparently there's one more treatment they can give me when it all kicks off again, but apparently it's a very aggressive treatment and my Oncologist has hinted it could do more harm than good (only about 10% chance of being effective, with horrendous side effects to boot)

I get the feeling they're trying to put me off having it and are gently suggesting I go for quality over quantity in future.

I think I'm at the point now where I feel I ought to ask the dreaded question.

But how does a person go about asking it?

I'm also worried about what my reaction will be, if its 'months', will I fall to bits?

Also, what if 'knowing it' becomes self fulfilling?

Any advice? X

Harebellle 10 months ago in reply to Ulls

Thanks for the responses so far. Food for thought.

GeneS 10 months ago

For what it is worth, I involuntarily asked my consultant when given the incurable/inoperable news. Could not help myself in the moment. The very vague, "weeks/months" did not help much I have to say but then it did spur us into what next mode. The NHS also caught up quickly and the news that I would be on immuno was a first stage revival. That and a long chat with cancer research about drug trials etc also helped. That was July and so into months from my perspective after 6 immuno sessions over 3 months. It may or may not work but I am remaining in the fight and that is ok for now. As many have said, no right or wrong answer, just ultimately how you want to proceed. Sending all the good vibes your way.

GeneS 10 months ago in reply to GeneS

And just wanted to add that I have ended up learning to "live with cancer" v "fighting cancer" - a challenging mental process for sure.

Moi2 10 months ago in reply to GeneS

Hi GeneS, we're all in the same boat on this site. At first yes we think we'er fighting, but as time goes on and we except our diagnosis, me personally, I thought sod this fighting lark and come on girl live your life as best you can, which is what I do. I'm on immunotherapy as well had 38 rounds and am 3 and 1/2 years past my sell by date, so just keep going and enjoy your life. Sending good vibes. xx

Moi

grumpyparr 10 months ago in reply to GeneS

Love reading this, My wife and I agreed at the beginning of my cancer experience, that we would not use the term "fight" cancer. We'd leave that to the medical professionals, we would live life and deal with things positively and openly.

That's our approach, it works for us.

Keep on keeping on.

Simon

Harebellle 10 months ago in reply to Moi2

So pleased that Immunotherapy is working for you. Unfortunately I had to stop it.

I still haven't plucked up the courage to ask.

Harebellle 10 months ago in reply to grumpyparr

Yes, there's no point in fighting it.

I thnk its healthier to treat it as a chronic disease when you're stage 4.

Moi2 10 months ago in reply to Harebellle

Hi Harebelle, sorry immunotherapy didn't work for you, guess I was lucky. Yes best to just get on with life.

I've been in hospital for 10 hour on a trolly in a corridor today. I'm ok and home xx