Hi all I'm a new member. Don't feel I can share my story just yet but wanted some advice please.
I have a two year old granddaughter who is the light of my life. The thought of leaving her before she is grown up makes me feel terribly sad. I am trying to focus on staying in the moment and enjoying the time we have and at the moment I am feeling fine and able to do things.
Although I am sure my family will tell her all about me and what we did when she is older I thought of making a memory book that she can look at as she grows. Just some photos of the different things we did eg playgough, reading etc ans places we went and a few lines with each.
I also thought of maybe a little bracelet with a message and a pebble art picture of us. I've seen some lovely things on Etsy. As she loves dogs I did also think of sponsorship of a guide dog maybe leaving money for so many years.
Has anyone done anything like this or have any ideas.
I am truly sorry that you are part of this group, but at least it is full of lovely, supportive, likeminded people.
This is a brilliant idea, it will be something that your granddaughter will treasure for ever when you're no longer around.
Have you been told you may not have long left or are you surmising ?
My grandchildren are 1x16, 2x13 and 1x11 and I have written letters to each of them. It was one of the hardest and saddest things I have had to do, so be prepared for a truly emotional battering. I do think though, once you have done it and you highlight some of those special moments, you will feel so much better, a satisfying kind of calmness.
Who knows, but it might be something you can start now on your own, and then develop into something you could continue to build and add to together. Not only will she have the memories in the book to look back on, but she will also have the memories of you both creating this book.
The pebble pictures are great and so good that you can personalise them. I think anything that will remind her, and the family of you when you're no longer around, will be wonderful.
Love Helen xx
Thank you so much for your reply.
No I've not been told anything and don't intend to ask about a prognosis. I'm such a glass half empty person that's the problem so when I heard incurable I just panic and think it is imminent. Not helpful thinking I know! Hopefully being a member of this group will encourage me to stay positive and take each day as it comes.
I've always liked to be prepared and I agree that although it will be incredibly painful doing the memory book once it's done I will feel relieved it's done. I can put it to the back of my mind and try and stay in the moment. Otherwise cancer wins as it spoils the good things.
What a lovely idea you have to leave your precious grandaughter, when it's needed. My grandaughter is 16 now but you have got me thinking that I would love to leave her something written on paper telling her how much she meant to me. And my two sons too.
Oh! I get you. When I was told I was uncurable but treatable lung cancer. I too was a glass half empty and my husband a glass half full. He was so relieved, I couldn't understand him. But 10 months on I'm a lot more positve now although I will be on treatment for the rest of my life. But there are breakthroughs in treatments so hang in there Sue. I'm back doing my exercise class and I've booked to go swimmimg on Saturday...can't wait.
It's not all joy. I do have my off days when I climb back into my hole but as you say, I don't want the big C to win. And someone will always post something funny on here that cheers me up and I have to respond!
Take care sending hugs
Hi Sue and a warm welcome to this terrific group. I think for everyone here who is a glass half empty person, there is a glass half full person.
I am your other half as I've always been a glass half full type. When I was diagnosed around April/May I went straight to Stage 4 and told (although I didn't ask!) I would be very lucky if I was still here to celebrate Christmas or New Year. Our only grandchild had just had her first birthday at the beginning of April and was my world. I wanted to leave or make something that she could keep to remind her of me. I love the seaside and found a Cross Stitch with a seaside picture and thought if I could just get it done it could be hung in her room. I bought it on an impulse and when I opened it, I thought I had bitten off more than I could chew. However, not one to give up, I started it that night and worked on it every day and night until it was finished & I had blisters on my fingers! Then I had it framed and my husband and I held her while we watched her dad hang it on her wall. Our daughter had to leave and went into the hall to cry but my husband, her dad and I then started to pick out the things in the picture, sand, water, spade etc etc and every night before she went to bed, her mum & dad made it part of her "going to bed routine"! It wasn't long before she was trying to say the words herself, then later on, Leah would point to something and say "what is that Gran" and we had to say the word, it was fantastic.
That was in 2013 and in August I started a drug trial. Before Christmas our daughter in law told us she was pregnant and due in August 2014. I wasted no time and started on the second Cross Stitch in the Sea Side Series in January.
Then Oct 2014 (after a miscarriage earlier in the year, our daughter fell pregnant again and had a second daughter. They are now 8,9&11 years old and not only do I realise how lucky I am to have them but I am a miracle, even my oncologist doesn't believe it.
If it works, I will try to add one of the Framed Pictures at the bottom here, or in a new post. Never in a million years did I think I'd be doing 3 or I would have made them MUCH SMALLER!! LOL!
I think no matter what you make or do, your granddaughter will cherish it forever! You can make up PhotoBooks now with text under the photos and have different sizes on the same page. The photos will last a lifetime and never fade!
Please let us know what you decide on!
Love Annette x
I'm not sure what happened as they are ALL THE SAME SIZE but at least you can see what I mean! It is amazing what you can do with a bit of determination while thinking the clock is ticking! Sorry about the long post! I should just have told you to read my LONG Profile Page Sue.
Love Annette x
I like to think I'm a glass half full kind of person, and soon accept a situation, but it doesn't mean I have given up, and I'm going to sit back and do nothing. I'm going to do whatever I can , and as the others have said, there are always new treatments being released.
I was told last July that I was incurable and there was nothing they could do. A massive shock! I felt fine after surgery and chemotherapy, surely they've got it wrong.
I have since been on 2 more rounds of chemotherapy and a clinical trial, and on Thursday, I'm starting on a newly released immunotherapy combination drug. I never thought, although I always hoped, that I would still be here, a year after the awful prognosis.
The people on here are amazing with so many inspirational stories. It took me a while to post on here but often read the posts, they always gave me hope and that is one of the main things that will help us to get through.
Take care, Love from Helen xx
I hope to complete my profile later building up to it. Been lurking around the group for a while!
Thank you for all your helpful and welcoming posts.
I have talked my ideas over with my husband. We are going to get some photos printed off and involve our granddaughter in starting a scrapbook. She can stick the photos in and then I can write a little bit about where we went/ what we did. Looking at it as a nice record of her early years rather than a sad thing
I think I will start by writing a little bit about how excited we were to hear she was on the way and how we felt the day she was born. Add first photo of her when born. Hopefully she will be interested in later years. I'm very interested in family history and neither of my children are so hope she inherits my interest!
I think I will get a pebble photo done to leave and maybe a piece of jewellery and small teddy.
Thank you again