Managing fear longterm

Lucy, It's normal to be scared of everything at the beginning. But fear wears you out and makes everything harder. Eventually you just sort of accommodate it, you keep it at arms length and then, bit by bit, you learn to start getting the best out of each day. Horizons may get more limited by the physical, but don't let cancer dictate everything about your life. We are all with you now. Arms around you.  Go kick some arse!  Rainie x

Lucy I have no more to add to what this experienced cancer journeyers have already said. That book sounds like something I should read too as I share some of your fears. The one thing that has helped me greatly is having a goal each day. Going for a walk each day somewhere green where the birds are singing has helped me a lot. Keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

big hugs

Jac x

Thanks for the tip Achancer123 I bought a copy,

A x

I have read the book now. It's a really helpful book. I will re-read it more slowly too. Thank you Achancer123 for suggesting it.

I'm am glad that the book is helping. It certainly did for me, some of my family read it as well, they worry just like us I think.

I thought it was a good book but I ansolutely hated the part about the lady who loved to dance.

I felt the medical staff were more concerned about the feelings of her famiy than the person who was actually dying and who was desperate to squash as much living into her last remaining days that she could.

The poor woman wanted to dance and have a party and didn't want to 'rest' and 'sleep'.

But they ended up giving her a strong sedative which she never woke up from to settle her 'agitation'. Its not like she was in much pain.. But that was alright, because at least it kept her daughters happy.

Still makes me angry thinking about it.

I've not read the book yet but will look out for that part. I wonder if they knew that she actually wasn't capable of it and the agitation was just a stage of her death.

Don't know, there's always 2 sides,

A x

Possibly you're right.

There was still something a bit off with the way she was handled in my opinion. 

If a person is in bed and is agitated and is wanting to rest I can understand it.

But this woman was up and about and having a last hurrah, similar to how a light bulb burns brightly just before it blows.

Should we be denying them that final burst of energy, just because it doesn't fit our ideal view of how death should be?

Definitely not, if I was still up and about, I'd be heading home to get the music on and the party food out!

They allowed it for as long as possible, until it was actively harming her. It wasn't natural joy and activity, it was her brain malfunctioning. I hope we are talking about the same story, with the mother with two daughters?