New Year

Hello Roo.

Absolutely everyone has felt the same or are still feeling the same.

What I can say for certain is that it does get easier, you can't worry for every minute of your life, you will end up going crackers.

You have the kids to care for so you have to devote your time dealing with them, I'm sure that will push other stuff out of your mind now and again.

Other people on here may have positive suggestions, I wish you better luck in the New Year. X

Hi Roo

That is so young, i have lung cancer, and i was like you diagnosed,2016, and that was a special year,  three special events within our family, i did not think i would see any of them, and yes i am still here,

I never wanted to know what my time frame would be, as that would be imbedded in my mind, and i would been watching the calendar,

I did 9 chemo's, then immunotherapy every three weeks for two years, last year i had some radiotherapy, bit of problem now, but we will see, what is offered.

I did say at one point to my onlogist if i had not had this treatment, you would have not been here.was her reply, i wish i had not asked.

We have to try and stay positive, not always esy but can be done, e all have our down moments, including me, though some one always picks me up, normally from this site,

My children are adults and i still try to protect them and only tell them what i want them to know.

None of us know what next year will bring, and all the worrying in the world does not help  it cannot change anything, and  makes you miserable, worn out so what is the point.

So go forward head held high and F the cancer xxx

Hi Rochyroo

I did ask for a prognosis and was able to take serious ill health retirement, I am currently stable without treatment. I have enjoyed doing so much better than expected, but everyone has their own approach.

For coping I saw a counsellor at one of the local cancer charities, she really helped me to cope with the night time worrying, and it was really useful having someone neutral to help me to understand what I was feeling. This site has been really helpful too, good for the harder times, but also fun.

I hope that you are able to approach 2023 with good spirits.

Best wishes 

Hello Roo,

Here's a hug for you. We all need them. Everything you are experiencing - we're all stumbling along the same path. Share it. Get it out. Don't bottle stuff up. You'll find both practical support and emotional on here. We all try and help one another. Look at 2023 as an opportunity to do things. Plan stuff. Do stuff. Then do some more. Give your kids as many good memories as you can manage. That will keep you going. Love from Rainie x

Hi Rochyroo, Sorry for the delay, I've just seen your post for the first time! I'm sure most of us at some time have felt the way you do now and have now moved on. I didn't ask for a prognosis but the Oncologist told me to put my affairs in order as I had roughly 5-7 months left and would probably not see Christmas. That was in March 2013! I went on a Trial Drug, taking a chance and it worked for me. The thing I tell myself is no one actually knows The Date. We are incurable but treatable and more and more new drugs are being developed and Trialed every month.

You say " I am terrified going into the new year, what if I don't see the end of it?" I would like you to ask yourself what if I do see the end of the year? Will you have wasted time worrying about "what IF" instead of making happy memories with your family! I do hope not!

Hi Roo

I was diagnosed last Sept with tongue cancer and because of a previous medical problem the only treatment available to me is two weeks of Radiotherapy. Like you i have been thinking the same.. am i going to reach next christmas? 

But then i try turn my attention to things i'd like to do, like going away with my son to music events, planning a week end or so away in my van and just generally thinking about doing stuff i keep putting off and enjoy life as much as i can. 

Plan things to do with 2 children. it doesn't have to be big things or cost a lot and don't forget to make time for yourself.

Wishing you lots of fun for 23

Cat x

Hi Roo, sorry about late response, please don't beat yourself up with thoughts of what might happen, my wife asked for a prognosis from a urologist he said 6 to 24 month's just his guess of course the 24 month's are up in 3 week's, my oncologist put me on a different medication, now I'm stable, instead of monthly check ups I'm now on 12 weekly check ups, and making the most of life.    Enjoy your life and children, do whatever you want to just grab life and go for it girl.

Sorry you have had such an awful 2022 and hope you were able to well and truly kick it into touch. After tge awfulness of the lockdowns in 2020 and 2021, I was really looking forward to 2022 - and then got my own diagnosis in February. I think the last 3 years have made me realise you have to try to find pleasure in the small things and try to park worries about the future by living in the present. I live by the sea, and when intrusive thoughts appear, I imagine myself standing on the beach and letting the waves take those thoughts away. Wishing you a better 2023. 

My approach is that an incurable diagnosis just advises me the likely end.  But my onco1 said soon after my treatment started, the longer the treatment goes on then there is more likelihood of other things happening, diseases, health issues, meet your bus etc.  You say yourself your treatment is going well (like me) so this is something to focus on.  

I also think that there will be plenty of warnings, negative triggers, and we're no where near that yet - it sounds like you're not either.  Plus I read the room with what's going on when I meet onco2 and I use that to set my expectations.  He advises people an average prognosis.   I have changed my stance on prognosis now and like you, I won't ask because no one knows and it can't be informed or customised to me.  

I tell myself that there are lots of treatments out there and we have the next TKI immunotherapy lined up potentially already.   Plus I know that people may survive for years now with an incurable diagnosis - one of the reasons they stopped calling it "terminal".

Finally, I make sure I enjoy my kids now and take pleasure from that.  They are 18 & 21 so a lot older than yours.  

Hi Rochyroo,

I feel exactly the same. I don't think there's any answer to it. I'm dealing with it by not looking too far ahead and trying to be kind to myself. Best wishes to you,

A x