Hi another newbie!

Let us know how you get on with the scan we are thinking of you here.

Hi Annie

Another newbie here.

I'm still at the in shock stage as well.  I don't think the enormity of the situation has sunk in yet.  Like you, I try not to cry in front of my family.

And I know what you mean about the housework.

I panic every time I look at the garden.  It looks so overgrown and yet my partner is reluctant to get a gardener in.

I was always the one to keep on top of things in the garden.

  Good luck with your online challenge xx

I cry in front of the telly when I watch any unhappy dog programmes!

If course our families know we cry and we know they cry but we all pretend everything is all right. That is the polite way of handling this bloody disease.

Quentin Crisp, an either from the 60a said after four years dust dosnt get any worse so aim for that.

The latest in fashion is for rewilding so that's sorted your garden worries.

Next??? Xx

Hi Harebellle

Thanks for the reply. I am used to crying everyday now, it comes from out the blue usually not because of pain as I have so many drugs to deal with that, it’s because I blame cancer for everything. 
From other comments offered last week my housework can and will wait. If I manage to dust or hoover that’s it for the day.

Saturday I had a stubborn battle with a lawn mower with after 2 hours and several breaks I won.(I paid for it next day).

My garden is now bushes that need a trim very now and then and the rest I have donated to my husband to grow tomatoes which he then gives to others. I have my hanging baskets and fuchsias to look at that’s enough! However if I can get out in the garden and trim the tops of the bushes I will. Being outside is my haven.

This last week has not been great and I had to have 2 scans on Friday, the first time the first time they have scanned my head.  However whilst in the unit someone rang the bell. I thought it would make me cry but instead I clapped with others and was truly happy to witness the joy between the man and his wife.It made me smile all the way home.

I know I will never ring the bell, I know I am going to have crap days, but I can also have good days. I cannot change my diagnosis but I will learn how to cope better.

Remember there is nothing wrong in having a cry!…..and never refuse help you can send them towards the garden!

Sending you a hug

Annie CB x

I have just read your profile and I totally understand how you must be feeling. I am here anytime you need to chat x

HiHarebelle, and welcome. Please don't worry about housework etc. I have used some of the PIP money to employ a housekeeper once a week. The garden is something else. I used to love spending long summer nights pottering about but can no longer do it. I have tried to get a gardener but all people want to do is cut grass and hedges. They don't want the real work of weeding, so I've been changing things to shrubs, so it is easier to manage. My husband doesn't know the difference between a plant and a weed but is willing to tackle the weeds between the slabs etc.

You will feel like you are on a rollercoaster just now but things will settle in a while and you will get into a routine.

In the meantime just enjoy every day as it comes! Come here to chat as there is always someone around!

Hi Annie, how are you doing?

Hi Annie,

Do you  know something? I've been sat in Oncology and a few times I've wondered. Why do they have a ship type bell on the wall?

It never occurred to me that its for people who are cured?

I'm off for my second dose of radiotherapy this morning.

Ii had my bone biopsy yesterday which was extremely painful.  Either that or I'm a woose! . I'm not looking forward to the results and am kind of hoping that there will be a week or two before they give them to me.

I don't want them to give me a time line. Just yet.

X

 Morning

I think the bell signals the final round of chemo etc. I have only had one biopsy in my breast tissue which I was on so many drugs I don’t remember much. I am sure yours was more painful though. I think many of.us suffer with scan phobia.

Hope the radiotherapy goes ok, I am trying very hard to deal with time lines I used to ask but not now. I am 54 and quite a loner but by reading the posts on here I know I am not alone. Make sure you join all appropriate groups to you, and make use of all this site has to offer. Hopefully your Dr has helped sort your PIP payment out for you.

My relaxation if I can’t sleep or I am struggling with pain is audiobooks. I usually doze off and have to rewind but that means it’s worked ( or the book is rubbish )

Here for you anytime

Annie

I love my rewiiding Ted, I no longer have to pick up next doors holly leaves etc and for the first time in years hedgehogs have returned to the garden. The blackbirds and the robin are busy looking for bugs and worms in the leaves I have left. I just watch the birds enjoy themselves.

 Hi Harebellle,  You may wait more than a couple of weeks for the bone biopsy result - I was told results after 6 weeks, as the process the bone has to go through is quite lengthy as they dissolve the healthy tissue to get to the cancer cells. It is not a nice procedure, but I had a lovely radiologist who did it and he pumped me full of local anaesthertic, and the radiographer offered her hands to me to squeeze.. You dont have to ask for a prognosis, many of us dont and it can feel like a cloud ove your head, when so many of us outlive statistical prognoses - and that is what they are, prognosis is not an exact science. Sorry you and AnnieCB are here as everyone else says, but the initial shock passes and you learn to live with cancer as a chronic condition. And then there are the amazing stories like one Salis has posted today. 

xx

I don't think I could cope at the moment without the kind words and support from all the lovely people on here. X