Hi another newbie!

Although I have followed the forum for a few months this is the first time I have joined in. I have found your discussions most helpful and I am currently struggling to talk to anyone.

Last April after 2 months of constant visits to the dr with back pain, it was a concerning calcium level in a blood test that led me to the hospital. After 5 days of oxygen and constant blood tests etc. I was told, whilst on my own, I had cancer in my left breast,arm,sternum and my spine, with of course no cure. I have gone through the anger stage but now I am very emotional and have a daily sob which I try to hide from my family. I have decided to keep my cancer to close family as I have few friends and I want to protect my grandchildren at present who are 10. My relationship with them is my joy and they just think Granny has a bad back.
I am currently feeling exhausted and having days where I just don’t feel “right” and I am very confused.Is this normal? I get so angry that I cannot keep up with housework etc. I have read about cancer fatigue and wondered if this it and can it come and go. I’m currently on Letzerole and Palbociclib and they have just upped my morphine slow release to 15 mg twice a day and my anti depressant citalopram to 30 mg. I would welcome any advice to cope with this lack of concentration and tiredness.

I love to get out when I can. I already had back problems so my pain is in that area. I have a walking stick and rollator and also a wheelchair for bad days. I have found a online challenge where you walk a certain distance to collect a medal. I am doing these walks based on my bucket list of places I would have liked to visit, Niagra Falls being the next one as this helps me to get out and walk. I look forward to reading your words of help



  • Hi ,

    Welcome to the forum as a poster. We all lurk for a bit before plucking up the courage to post. Glad you have found follwoing some discussions helpful. Fatigue is the common factor for most of us. My response to your frustrtion at not being able to keep up with the housework is ,,, "b****r the housework" . Use what energy you can to enjoy time with your grandkids and do things you enjoy - get someone else to help you with the housework if there is someone else around. Your walking challenge sounds much more fun than housework.

    Sorry you find yourself here - others will be along soon to welcome you too, and we will all look forward to you becoming a regular poster.


  • .Hello Annie. Welcome to the forum. Now you have posted you may get into the habit. it can take your mind off things in here, it's not all misery, there is fun to be had as well. The questions you ask will find answers here.

    The Staffy lady is so right, there is time for housework but when it suits you. You have family to enjoy, let the hoovering wait.I

    I'm tired all the time, it's not my fault so why shouldn't I laze about when I want.

    Best wishes.

  • Thanks for your welcome your reply has already made me smile, I have a white long haired cat and I’m beginning to think it would be easier to hoover him than the floor!

  • Hi Ted

    Thanks for your reply my favourite sleep is in the garden looking at the sky and listening to the birds so relaxing for me

  • Hello Annie and welcome. I think you've probably worked out that we are wise souls here, practical and some humour. I connect with anger as you will see in my profile but its become more philosophical now. I think my gastroenterologist had a better chance of landing a rocket on Pluto than finding my cancer. I try to live in the moment and not to identify Tony as the man with cancer. Im still Tony. I find Buddhism and nature very helpful though Dharma was a bit late in the day. I might be around for a bit longer, who knows?. Take care

  • Hi Annie, Welcome, it's nice to eventually chat to you. As OBS said, I think we have all lurked in the background for a while before plucking up the courage to actually post, so good for you, I hope there is no stopping you now!

    I think fatigue is one of the worst things about cancer, you just can't fight it. I wonder if you have applied for PIP or any other benefit, assuming you live in the UK! I don't want an answer to that question but regarding housework, I used some of my PIP allowance to hire a cleaner to do my housework. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these house proud women but it just annoys me when I can't do it myself, I like the place tidy! I would love to also employ a gardener but people don't want to do any hard work. I used to spend hours in my garden but can no longer do it, I cannot kneel to weed. I have herbaceous borders that take a bit of looking after. I almost put myself in hospital earlier this week because I went out in the garden thinking I will spend 20 minutes or so and got carried away and was still there 2&a half hours later! Never again.

    I do hope you will enjoy being active on the site. Where online did you find the walking challenge on the Internet and can I ask, as someone who uses elbow crutches or wheelchair, how do you manage it, It sounds really interesting!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Annie and welcome.

    I understand you get angry and tired...i think we all have been there...it is a hard pill to swollow..but believe me it will get better with time. As for now..let the housework go, relax and do things you like..stroke your cat, have a cuppa , eat what you feel like. Another thing is...did they scan your head? Or are you on steroids? They did make me very angry. 

    Big hug fromAustralia...Pet

  • Welcome Annie,

    we hope we can help as someone to chat to and say how you feel.

    We understand about the fatigue and the housework.

    i do things when I’m having a good day. Yesterday I felt quite well and planted some seeds then later felt really tired. That’s the way it goes. I am pleased with the seeds that have come up and I Andy do a little at a time now 

    love xxx


  • Hi Pet

    Wow yesterday I was crying feeling like I had nobody to talk too now I have a message from Australia!

    No head scan yet but I will mention on Mondays hospital visit. I think the increase in anti depressant and morphine plus the diazepam have had this affect. I am learning that if I get 1 good day and try and go too mad I will pay for it for 2 days after.

    Thank you for you support


  • Hi Ruth

    I have what I call my superhours, 2 in total after I have taken my first 10 pills of the day. If I feel ok the hoover comes out and the washing goes on..

    The afternoon is for me, I love doing diamond art pictures especially in the garden followed by a 2 hour nap which I cannot fend off.

    I have had a good try in the garden but I am pleased to have achieved my hanging baskets and pots.Being outside is so good for you I think.