Well, you would have thought I'd know better by now.......but no!

We had a lovely weekend in Pitlochry and got home in the late afternoon. Yesterday I decided to try to do a bit of gardening. I have been trying to find a gardener but people want to cut grass and hedges, they don't want to do any weeding! So now I am suffering badly because I didn't limit the time I was out. I usually set the alarm on my mobile for 20 minutes and then stop for a drink for a while then do the same again. Today, I forgot to set my alarm and I thought I had been outside for about 40 minutes but when I looked at the time, I had been working for over an hour! 
it is now 03.15. am and I have been trying to cope with the pain in my leg for the last two and a half hours. It is burning, jumping,, tingling with electric shocks going from my left hip down to my feet. I have on pain patches, taken Oramorph and sat under a cool shower, trying to get it to settle down but nothing has worked. My husband is working tonight and I am grateful for that as I don't want him to see me in this state.

Before we went away for the weekend, my husbands best friend he has known for well over 30 years, fell at his home. My husband had been phoning him but there was no reply, so he went round to check on him as he has spare keys to his house. He found him lying on the hall floor where he had been for about 24 hours. My husband phoned an ambulance, then his daughter who lives in Manchester. His daughter and her husband drove up and visited him in hospital the same day. The next day, they had just got back from afternoon visiting when the hospital phoned to tell them to get back asap. By the time they got there 25minutes later, he had died 15 minutes earlier. We were all shocked and devastated. They are doing a post mortem tomorrow, so the funeral cannot be organised until next week which is why we decided still to go away for the weekend. The last thing my husband needs it to see me in this state.

It has taken me over 30 minutes to type this as I've had to stop and start. I had hoped that typing this would take my mind off my leg but no such luck and I can hardly see for the tears.      Any suggestions please put on a postcard and send them to hell, which is where I feel I am!  Sorry for the rant!

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    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • So sorry to hear that you're in so much pain Annette, we both have the pain from hell. As you say and I know because you have told me before, you're always so careful with time spent in the garden. I feel so bad that I wasn't around for you during the night. I woke at 2am and 6am but I went back to sleep because I had an appointment with the nurse at the surgery at 5 to 9 this morning after being traumatised yesterday morning but I'll talk about that in a new thread.

    You know we don't mind if someone wants to get something like that off their chest. I hope you're feeling better today Annette, no news is good news! It's great to hear that you had a lovely break with Vince, just you and your soulmate Slight smile

    Take care and stay safe Annettep

    Tvman xx

    Love life and family.
  • The whole thing is a hotbed of misery Annette. I am so sad to read of your suffering. 

    I think things are also being exacerbated by what happened to your husband's friend.

    Imagine if he had laid there and died undiscovered. That your husband found him is a shining light in all this. 

    Praying you improve. Xx

  • Annette I am so sorry, you are not having an easy time at the moment. The sudden loss of a dear friend is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for the loss for you and your husband. 

    I really hope you managed to get some sleep, and the pain has eased. I hate to read you are in such pain. No more weeding for a while I think xx 


    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou
  • Hope you find some renewed comfort and energy soon. Your story of your friend who died shows that life ends when it does. Predicting death is not certain for anyone of us. Ive been terminal for a while and in the space of 5 Months. Two neighbours were diagnosed with  cancer and died. Two sisters further up the road passed away within a Month of each other. Of course there is sadness but that is LIFE. Hope you dont think im being cold because im really an emotional guy. I realised that my emotions we're.totally overwhelming me so i had to control them.Take CARE.Heart

  • Hi Everyone, Thank you all so much for your posts they are really appreciated. Tony, of course I don't think you are being cold, as you say that's Life. My dad used to say "we fill in our calendars with what we are planning...then Life Happens". Not long after my dx Two friends of mine died. I just couldn't get my head round it!

    Anyway, they decided they needed to do a Post Mortem, which was only done yesterday and we haven't heard the result yet. So obviously the Cremation etc can't be booked for Vince's pal until they issue the death certificate. It may not be until the end of next week or even the week after. It seems a long time already.

    Tvman & Chelle, I didn't get any sleep at all on Wednesday night and I'm not weeding again, I've learnt my lesson the hard way. I have been trying to find a gardener for months but it seems people only want to cut grass or hedges, weeding is too much work for them. I even posted the job in My Builder where the say no job is too big or small, we have tradesmen for everything! However no one wanted my job!

    Ted, you are right that it was good Vince went round to check on him, phoned an ambulance and his pal's daughter who lives in Manchester. It meant she got to see and speak with him the day he was taken to hospital and also the day he died, which as you can imagine she is so thankful for.

    I hope you all have a great weekend. Thanks again for your replies!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Annette...i'm so sorry about your pain and your hubby's friend. Good he could see his daughter before...Why is it always all together ..about the weeding...you may ask the kids? Or some youth from the neigbourhood? I hate weeding even i could do it..so i just put weed killer on...

    Here it is getting now colder, that's the time everything grows..no lawn in summer but now....omg ! In summer ist all brown from the sun. 

    Hope you are sleeping now!!! 


  • Hi Annette, I hope you're getting a good sleep tonight/this morning and the misery of the excess gardening has been put to bed, so to speak. 

    I really hope that the post mortem has resulted in a diagnosis and the family and you and Vince are able to deal with the cremation and give him a loving send off. If Vince hadn't gone round to the house when he did then the poor man may have died alone on a cold floor. Vince would have forever blamed himself and that would have been a tragic consequence. Vince gave him a chance of survival.

    Now Annette, on the subject of the gardening, it's such a pity that the "no job too small" brigade won't have the intellectual gardening brain for your weeding. That is a step too far for them. As we say in Norn Iron (Northern Ireland), any "buck eejit"  can cut hedges and grass but sadly they wouldn't know a weed from a prize dahlia or a herbaceous perennial. Is there a notice board at your church where you might have a better chance of a fellow parishioner who can possibly help? I can understand your dilemma that your prime gardening days may be gone, I struggle myself with 5 minutes work that needs a 10 minute painful interval during which I dream of a weed free veg plot and garden but we both know that ain't gonna happen! 

    I hope you're sleeping soundly and don't reply immediately, of course I'd be delighted if you did Smiley My back pain has subsided enough that I may just be able to snatch an hour or two's sleep before Mrs Tvman wakes up. I'll be able to bring her a cup of tea to repay her for her kindness when she brings me one before she goes to work during the week.

    So sorry for a long reply but I think you and our "incorrigibles" know by now that I can't write one sentence when 10 will do!

    Take care and stay safe Annette xx

    Love life and family.
  • Dear Annette, I am sorry to be so late to this thread, I hope that it is comfort that your husband found his friend and was able to call the ambulance and his daughter.

    I hope too that you are able to get some comfortable rest and to find someone to do your weeding so that you can continue to enjoy your garden. 


  • Sorry to hear of the trauma you've been experiencing with your friend. Always a shock that sort of thing. And I hope your sleep has improved and you're feeling better able to deal with the everyday.

    As for getting a gardener, it's a job finding somebody who knows his plants and isn't just a bloke with a set of power tools - luckily I found one and that's the first question I asked, 'and what sort of 'gardener' are you?'  Hugs. Rainie x