How are you today?

I think you said all the right things to your sister 

it sounds like your sister needs support and sometimes from someone outside of the family it is easier to talk. There are help lines available.

you should be pleased your sister was able to talk to you xxx

Just been polishing my halo. You should see how it dazzled people in the sun when I was out with the dogs.

Actually I think you are the one who deserves the accolade for being there for your sister when you are having such a hard time yourself - but great that you are. You dont have to do anything other than listen and let her pour her heart out. But  it might also be important for her ( and You) to have someone else she can talk to. I have a vague recollection that a few years ago, the Welsh Govt  was planning on having a counsellor in every school . If that is the case then she would be entitled to a service and allow her not to feel guilty burdening you and you to feel you can be big sister. Mcmillan might have other suggestions too.

Please dont ever feel ashamed for asking for help - whether that is monetary entitlement, or pain relief, or some emotional support . I get so mad that somehow we have allowed the narrative of undeserving v deserving when it comes to benefits to develop ( is why the Daily Mail and Express are never allowed near me) You are entitiled and should be encouraged to take it up. Same with other support. As others have said, dont be afraid of hospice services, they can be life affirming, and again it is the unhelpful stories around them which makes people fear seeking help..You are a brave and lovely person, you are also a teenager who has a right to the best life possible. Dont cut off possibilities out of fear or shame, Lecture over.

And when you want to rant - rant away, you dont have to be bright and glittering all the time. Plenty of us on here to listen and empathise.

xx

you have had some very good advise from everyone here. There is a lot of help out there, but first thing first, talk to your Dad.

Where has your profile picture gone by the way? I saw you changed it earlier to a more up to date photo, and now it’s gone ? You looked very happy  

Thank you Ruth. I really hope I did say all the right things ️ I have looked up some helplines for Laura and I'm going to suggest that to dad when we talk. I saw someone said about emailing or writing a letter to dad, fab idea and I'm going to work on that soon xx

I'm so happy she can talk to me and be open. We're very close which is lovely x

Jess xx xx

Hii ownedbystaffies, that's fabulous, I wondered what was dazzling me here and now I know ️

You have such a positive and fun attitude, really brightens up my day. 

I like to think I'm there for Laura whenever she needs me. Hope so anyway. But I think you're right, outside help is definitely needed because I'm not a professional and I can't make everything feel better for her. I can listen and that's fab but I feel she needs more than that. I'm going to talk to dad about getting more help and support xx and I might say to her about the school counsellor as I'm pretty sure she does have one there x

Fab idea to contact Macmillan about this as well! Thank you so much!

Thank you for that. That was really lovely of you to say and I completely agree. I do need to stop letting myself get shamed and really get the support needed and look into claiming as well. Don't know how long is left so I suppose sooner is better than later. I don't know why hospice's scare me, I expect it is just the stories you hear and read about. Seems to be lots of them for some reason. But I am defos going to look into this as well be positive for me and the whole family I think. Xx

Thank you so much for letting me rant like that. I'll try not to make a habit of it though! Feeling much happier again now xx

Sending you lots of hugs xxx

Jess xxx

Hi Chelle, thank you so much. ️️ Yes lots of good advice and suggestions and I've taken it all in. I'm going to write a letter to my dad, give it to him tonight and hopefully that will get us talking and hopefully lead to some positive things for us all xx talking is so important, just sometimes find it hard to talk about everything going on.

Yeah I did change it, felt pretty confident and happy at the time, took the selfie but confidence dropped and I felt super self conscious so got rid of it for now. Feel so sad about how I look now. I might put it up again soon xxx

Hugs Jess xx

Hii Ellie, thank you so much for your lovely message. I've been reading about them to and they do sound super supportive and helpful so I'm going to reach out about that. Xx

Sending hugs to you xxx

Jess xx

Hii Christine, thank you for your very lovely message and advice Xxx ️️️ I am very much like you, if talking about things especially out of the blue I just fall to pieces and can't talk because I'm crying so much. I love your idea of emailing, texting or writing a letter. I think I'm going to write a letter to my dad so we can discuss everything tonight. That's my plan anyway! I think sometimes especially since the cancer talking and expressing myself in person is so difficult to do. I think writing it out will be so much easier 

Thank you so much lovely xxx ️

Sending you lots of love and hugs,

Jess xx

I hope everyone has had a very lovely day. Hopefully you're all feeling really well xx

It's night here now and I'm going to bed. Had a nice evening, watched some tv and lay on my bed. I'm in a bit of pain but hoping it will settle after my meds and I'll get a good nights sleep.

Take care everyone, see you tomorrow xx

Best wishes,

Jess xx

Good night Jess hope you have a peaceful night. I've had a quiet day today and will be off to bed shortly. Have a chat in the morning sending hugs XX